Blindfolded

3

"Take care over there Hails.Miss you already.Haha:P"

"Easy.You still stink.:P"

That was probably the last text conversation I had with Ivan about an hour ago.
The sun's already about to set and it's past 6 in the evening but I still dont want to go back to the morgue.(house)

It's a home,Hailey.
Right.Keep convincing yourself it is.

I've received older-sister-like texts from my younger sister,Aliah about thirty minutes ago telling me to come back already because she has no one to talk to.
Firstly,I seldom talk to due to half busy-ness and half awkwardness but we still seem to be in good terms.She still wants me to be around because she obviously can't talk to our mom properly for the reason that she's always on the phone talking to that worthless piece of shit.
He really is.And I would never reconsider him.Ever.

I sat on the empty stone bench watching the sun set.People were so happy bonding with their boyfriends,girlfriends,friends and families.
Im here.

Never in my life had I seen our mom care for both Aliah and I eversince our father left,for another piece of shit.

This might make me stupid for hating my mom when it was our father who abandoned us.
This could've never happened if only she remembers that she still has  children with her and her life didnt revolve around our father anymore.
She grew very distant to her daughters.And it scares me not because I was afraid for myself but because Im afraid that my sister would grow improperly and soon becomes a rebel.
It sounds worse considering that we still live in the same house with a mother.
And the very reason I've been angry at her was the fact that she's dating.I mean it's not very bad.It's not bad at all because we want her to be happy again.
But knowing the fact that she's dating not just a man.but a married one.It makes her look like a third party.And that shitty old man just proves that he's not acceptance-worthy.
Im truly concerned about my mom for like,every time for it can put her to danger.I wouldnt want that to happen.
But she looks so eager and she had told us lots of times that she's starting to love the man.

"Why cant you,just be happy for me?Dont be so selfish Hailey!"

I understood where she was coming from.What she has been through.
The bad thing is,she grew irresponsible and she never had time to ask even basic questions like How was school? Did you do great? What's the matter? Can I help?
She seems to not care at all.

Remembering everything that made and still makes my life miserable brought out unwanted tears from my eyes.
I hadnt realize I was crying all this time.
Im so lucky.So lucky that Im in misery at the center of a park where people are laughing around.Where people sound so genuinely happy.What could get even worse?

I just laughed the pain off to prevent more tears from falling,hastily wiping the ones that came out earlier.
Why are you even crying Hailey?Stupid.You are strong.You shouldnt give up that easy! My inner thought reminded me.

Ruffling my hair and slapping my face multiple times didnt decrease any pain.

"It's always okay to cry when you cant handle everything anymore.Crying doesnt make you any weaker."
I was shocked at the voice who seemed to be listening and watching for my outburst all along,as well as processing the advice he just told me.

Looking around to my right,I was curious to see where the voice was coming from but there was nobody behind me so I brought my gaze back to the lake.

The moment I prepared myself to leave, something fell when I stood.When I picked it up,it was a black and red striped handkerchief.
I wandered my eyes to see who it was but failed because nobody looked interested enough to even give a little damn.Instead of leaving it there,I took it with me.
--

"What the hell 'ate'?!Ive been rotting here and there you are,partying outside?Is my life destined to be like this now?"

I was on my way to the jeepney station when Aliah texted me.
"I wasnt partying,stupid.And stop being so dramatic.It's not like it's the end of the world for you."
I sent the text after giving my fare to the driver.
--