Revenge ༣ MikaYuu

M⃟⠀A⃟⠀L⃟⠀I⃟⠀C⃟⠀E⃟

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⠀⠀⠀Trembling, shoulders scrunched, Yuichiro let the words sink in. It was horrifying, sinister, and it left him wondering what could happen. He should've known what Mikaela was capable of doing, but now he had no clue. It was long ago when he was tortured, beaten, and locked away, and he could assume that everything would be the same as it was back then, but would it really? Perhaps, he could do more, could do worse, could do more damage than he has? He didn't know, and because of that, he was paralyzed with fear.

⠀⠀⠀The unknown was a terrifying thing.

⠀⠀⠀Yuichiro didn't know what else to think in that moment in time, eyes flickering in confusion and mind swirling with panicking thoughts. His heart beat wildly amongst his chest, breathing erratic as though there was a lack of air in the small space he owned. He couldn't put the puzzle pieces together, couldn't connect the dots. One thought filled his mind: why was this happening?

⠀⠀⠀Mikaela should've been healed, he swore. If he wasn't, there was no way in Hell that he could be able to walk around the streets, no way that the psychiatrist would let him leave in spite that he was fine. There was no way; so why, why is he doing this, why is he acting this way? Why? Why? Why? He should be okay, normal, cured, but he's not! Yuichiro let out a shutter from the utter shock he was experiencing. He could feel a strange feeling rise inside of him, like a claw was jerking at his heart strings and causing shocks of pain. He could feel a sinking feeling in his chest, being unable to breathe, and it was as if an anchor was dragging him down in hopes to drown him.

⠀⠀⠀He immediately recognized these feelings as anxiousness and desperation. The anxiousness that all of this was just some sick joke that he could sigh in relief about, maybe shove the blond away in slight frustration, and they'd return to normal lovers. The desperation that if things were really as it seemed, that he wouldn't have to go through the same agony as he had in the past. He was letting these emotions take over, attack him, feed on him alive, and he wasn't sure how much he could take.

⠀⠀⠀"What's wrong?" Mikaela chuckled. "You're shaking helplessly more than usual, love."

⠀⠀⠀"You're doing this again... this goddamn thing we spent so much time trying to fix! Why is this shit happening? Why are you acting as if all the things we did were for nothing? You are suppose to be different, sane, normal, but you're acting like the monster you were a long time ago!" Yuichiro muttered, emphasizing some words to insert the rage he couldn't hold. "You liar! You knew you weren't okay! You swore you were healed! So how, why, are you acting the way you are?"

⠀⠀⠀"Oh, Yuu-chan," Mikaela purred in his ear. "You're so gullible and credulous; you believe things more what you know. I won't leave you in the dark, so I'll tell you all you'd like to hear, but let's keep this vague: I will never be truly healed from this illness. I have learned to accept this fact; have been for a long time. There will be times I can't help but become this monster, be possessive, inflict pain— I don't decide when, and I don't decide if I can, nor can't."

⠀⠀⠀Yuichiro soaked in the information like a sponge. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. His hopes have never depleted so low. He couldn't accept anything that was being said, so he began to sob into his own hands. The tears stained his palms, slipping between the gap of his fingers and towards the floor. He was so exhausted. He wanted everything to be over. Why couldn't he live a happy life with the love of his life? Why couldn't he be happy with the person he wanted most? What did he do to deserve these misfortunes?

⠀⠀⠀But he refused to leave it the way it was.

⠀⠀⠀The raven's hands found its way to firmly grasp the collar of Mikaela's shirt, careless if he was doing something reckless that would lead to something he was going to regret. He tried to push the tears away, but they kept falling. "You... I love you so goddamn much I can't run away even knowing something awful is bound to happen!" Shaking, pale hands reached to carress Mikaela's cheeks, emerald irises burning into the crimson ones. He didn't try to cease the tears anymore. "Snap out of it, Mika! Don't let the illness win! We can handle this together... we'll find a way to make you better... so please..." Yuichiro let out a choked sob. "... please snap out of it... I love you so much..."