Title: I'm Writing This For You
Author: Establish
How many chapters I read: Prologue + 2 Chapters
Grammar/Sentence Structure: 5/5
Originality (was it too cliché, etc): 5/5
How well it captivated me (was it able to grab my attention, etc): 5/5
Comments/Suggestions:
I'm not exaggerating when I say that from the first few words, I was instantly hooked. Your writing style is impeccable, and your use of extended vocabulary and detailed descriptions really helped to establish a flow. I loved the overall concept of a father writing to his daughter, because it's different and really made it all the more bittersweet. Your character development was done extremely well and I felt myself connecting with Malik on many accounts. Throughout the story, I often found myself empathizing with Malik when he was saying goodbye to his childhood friends and moving to Boston. It has the ability to take the reader back to a time in their lives when they'd felt the same, which thus makes the story all the more effective.
Even though the writing itself is flawless, what I'd like to suggest, though, is to try and ease up on insignificant descriptions and instead direct it towards the main focus of the story, which is Malik. It'd be interesting to read more about his feelings and views towards people like his stepfather and other relationships in his life. Since this is about a father writing to his daughter, try to pull on the reader's heartstrings more. Disregarding this, though, I believe that you have written a truly unique coming-of-age story that is sure to attract and captivate more readers.
Hope this helped xx
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