Title: The Lake Love
Author: Rory-fab
How many chapters I read: 3
Grammar/Sentence Structure: 2.5/5
Originality (was it too cliché, etc): 2.5/5
How well it captivated me (was it able to grab my attention, etc): 3/5
Comments/Suggestions:
I think that it was a very intriguing start! Cameron and Skylar have a really interesting dynamic going on between them and it keeps the reader curious to see what will happen next and if it blooms into something more. I also liked the supporting characters in Skylar's life, like her brother, Kyle (I found him hilarious). Everyone in your story has their own unique qualities that really stands out to the reader, and the cast you'd picked fits extremely well with the characters you created. I absolutely loved your cover, too, because it adds a lot of appeal that's sure to bring in more readers.
What I'd suggest, though, is to work on your grammar and punctuation. For example, you need to put a space after your commas and add a punctuation mark after your quotations (ie. "I like pizza," she said.). Also, I found a few moments to be a bit predictable and too fast, so try to slow down your pace a little and not rush it. It's important for the reader to have some time to connect with your main character, Skylar, since we're reading from her POV. I think that if you just go back and edit it some more, it'd be a great story.
Hope this helped xx
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