The Zeroth Law

CHAPTER 11: THE EXPIRY DATE

"Hundred bucks say she punches you if you pull the sheet", I heard a voice I have hated since the first time I had heard it say.

"She is a non-violent person, at least when it comes to me", and then I heard a voice I have loved since the first time I had heard it say.

"You have a point", the hateful sound said, "but the temptation to pull the sheet is becoming too much for me."

"Don't", warned the lovely voice and however much I may love it, I am not at all an attractive company to have when I am sleep deprived, so I covered my head with my arms, "if you don't want to die."

"Give an honest witness testimonial for your real best friend's murder later on", the moment I heard these words I knew I was in danger, but before I could work my sluggish and drowsy brain to gain control over my limbs and lift myself up, the sheet below me was yanked away and I fell down with a loud thud on floor below.

"Son of a bitch", I gave an angry cry and looked up with my eyes finally open at a cackling Rudraansh and careworn Karan while the side of my ribs throbbed with pain.

"You are dead", Karan declared in dead drop voice but when I glared at him he added, "I stand corrected", he looked at Rudraansh who was still howling with laughter like a mad man, "we are dead."

"That's sexual harassment", I pointed my finger at Rudraansh, "and you are an accomplice", I pointed my finger next at Karan, "I will see you in court."

"Is she serious?" Rudraansh's laughter finally showed signs of receding.

"I think she is", Karan said uncertainly. "But I don't think she is talking about the real court with law and order."

As realisation dawned on both of their faces I shouted at the top of my lungs before they could stop me, "These perverts are in my room."

"Shhhh", Rudraansh shushed telling me to lower my voice with his hand and a troubled look on his face. "Do you think she heard it?" he asked Karan who was at the door of my room peeping outside.

"I don't see her anywhere, she must be in backyard kitchen", Karan informed looking back in the room so I dashed towards the only window in the room staring out at backyard of the house. "Stop her before Mom decides to cut our food supply for a week", Karan warned Rudraansh who lunged after me and I dodged him.

"Aunty, perverts in my room pulling over my sheets and sneaking up on m-" rest of my words were drowned in a muffle when a huge hand covered my face, pinning me to the floor.

"You get the Matt Traker", Rudraansh offered and I stopped trying to wiggle myself out of his grip, "we couldn't finish our match the last time but you win. Have it."

I came to know about another thing Rudraansh values even more than a G. I. Joe action figure - Mrs Mujumdar's food. It was like I was awarded with a chest full of gold, this weakness of his was going to be my treasure for a long time because Mrs Mujumdar prefers me even over her own son, so where would Rudraansh stand.

"What?" Karan asked as I tried to speak but couldn't because Rudraansh still had me pinned. "Remove your hand for God's sake", he scalded Rudraansh.

"What if she starts yelling again? I don't want to die of food poisoning from hostel food", Rudraansh made his reasonable argument.

"You won't complain to Mom, right?" Karan asked me carefully and I nodded slowly, "You aren't going to make us out to be filthy pigs in front of her again and let her ground me for a week like last time, are you?"

I shook my head negatively remembering the last time I had done this when Rudraansh thought it would be funny to put itching powder in my clothes but was caught by Mrs Mujumdar accidentally with my bra stuck to his t-shirt. Karan, who had run to warn him that his mother was coming that way was caught as an accomplice despite having nothing to do with it and had been grounded for a week. Ever since Mrs Mujumdar would guard me like a watch dog from both the boys, believing they were horny hormone driven teenagers and I was helplessly at their disposal and Rudraansh had teased me with the nick name 'lemon sugar' because he had had a peek at my bra size. The memory is grotesquely embarrassing for all three of us, especially for me but at least I got the upper hand with Mrs Mujumdar out of it. I couldn't overuse it though, it was my special weapon.