Only Through Pain [Collab with kayfiles]

Chapter Thirteen [ZiaRenee]

Kitra had been so enamored with her newfound talent that she had completely forgotten about the individual training. It wasn't until Sophia was walking towards her, calling her name, that she remembered. As the girl approached, Kitra had an instant pang of curiosity and opened her mouth to ask how the training went, but Sophia smiled and told her she was next before she could get the words out. Kitra went rigid. She wasn't prepared. She hadn't liked using her power. At all. It hurt her and the things it did were terrifying. She wasn't sure she could control it. She wasn't sure she wanted to control it. Suddenly, Kitra felt very out of place and very uncomfortable. She didn't want this gift. It was frightening.

Kitra smiled back at Sophia, thankful to have at least one companion in this intimidating place. She handed the girl her darts and raced off, her fear turning her feet into lightning. The faster she got there, the sooner it would be over. Kitra was unprepared, both physically and mentally, but she knew she had to at least try. She had to give a shot. She couldn't quit now. Besides, what would they do with her if she opted out? Where would she go? Where could she go?

Kitra's head was swimming with endless thoughts when she reached the testing chamber. She hesitated outside the door, not sure if she should run and never look back or step inside and face the inevitable. Kitra chose the latter.

It looked completely different. The room was no longer pitch black with a ring of light in the center. It was lit up, the bare, gray walls stretching far away from Kitra. To her left, she saw the mirror Benjamin had stood behind when she unleashed her Karma. Remembering the incident made her shudder.

A voice broke her nerves. "So you did well on your target practice? Good job."

It was that same endearing, deep voice that Kitra had grown to cherish. She turned and a smile lit up her face immediately. Benjamin stood a few feet away from her, his hands folded together neatly at his waist and a faint smile of his own dancing across his cheeks.

"I always knew you'd be great." he said softly.

Kitra flushed scarlet. Benjamin knew just how to lift her spirits and calm her down. As this thought quickly darted through Kitra's mind, she was suddenly reminded that she had meant to tell Benjamin her technique. Standing infront of him now, though, she felt a little silly. Her embarrassed flush turned dark and tinted the tips of her ears as she stared down at her shoes, fully aware Benjamin probably already knew.

"It's very flattering, Kitra." he said as he approached her. "Helps my ego."

Kitra giggled.

"If I know I've helped one person, I know I can help countless people." he said firmly, ambition shimmering in his eyes.

Kitra wondered what it felt like to help somebody. To give them security. To give them advice. To give them anything. Benjamin had saved her life. Sophia had defended her. Even Greg had only her best interests at heart. Kitra, on the other hand, did not know what it felt like to give to others. Her new resolve formed just then.

Kitra would endure these tests and training sessions. She would endure anything that was to come. She would endure and she would do her very best to triumph. She would not give in. She would not back down. She would stand tall and give her all. She would make herself useful. She would make herself a valuable asset. She would grow and learn and make splendid progress. And eventually, she would be able to help. She would be able to save. She would be useful and needed. That was all she wanted. To be needed. She had been disposable for most of her life and now she had the chance to be part of something bigger. Something better. She could transform herself and become a member of a team, of a huge organization. She would learn how to put her Karma to good use. How it can help people.