The Boy Who Just Wanted to Get it Right

One Pizza With a Side of Death, Please

It was 4:00 pm. Joe hadn't eaten, hadn't even moved. He was past the point of crying. He just laid there motionless, saying not a thing. Mrs. Kerrings opened the front door. In front of her stood a sad Max and Teresa.
"Hi, Mrs. Kerrings. Can we talk to Joe?"
"He's in his room. I'm not sure how much talking you're gonna get out of him, but you're welcome to try. I've got to go to work now, let Joe know."
"Joe?" Teresa asked quietly. Joe didn't acknowledge their existence, let alone speak to them. They grabbed chairs and sat across from him. They were careful to talk in quiet, calm voices.
"They said a goodbye to Lex on the announcements this morning," said Max.
"It was really nice. They had me and Max and some other of Lex's friends say nice things about him and say how we'll miss him and stuff," said Teresa. Still no response.
"Your mom wanted us to let you know she had to leave for work," Max said. Joe laughed.
"I love how I just killed my best friend and she's still worried about her expensive little job," Joe said saltily. He still faced away from them, looking at his wall.
"They're having a funeral for Lex this weekend," Teresa said.
"Yeah, it's on the football field before the game," Max added.
"I'm not going," Joe said quietly and angrily.
"Lex would want you to be there, J-"
"I SAID I'M NOT GOING!" He yelled. And with that, they dropped it.
"I'm gonna go get some pizza, Teresa will stay with you," Max said. Maybe Teresa could get something out of him, she had always seemed closer to him.
"Joe, please don't do this," Teresa said.
"Do what."
"This! Blame yourself, mope around, and shut yourself up! You're not helping anyone here! You're making things harder for us and for yourself."
"WELL MAYBE I SHOULD JUST GRAB A GUN BECAUSE I CAN'T SEEM TO DO A DAMN THING RIGHT!" He screamed.
"Joe.., don't say that," Teresa said, trying to stay calm.
"WHY? BECAUSE ITS TRUE? BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE WOULD HAVE A BETTER LIFE IF I JUST GOT A GUN RIGHT NOW AND SHOT MYSELF IN THE FUCKING FACE!" He was sitting up now, Teresa didn't like it. She felt as though he'd get up and do something stupid. She walked to him and hugged him. He didn't hug her back, but she didn't care.
"My life wouldn't be better," she whispered, "it would be terrible. A life without Joe Kerrings in it is not one I want to live in." She was crying softly.
"I love you Joe, please don't ever leave me in this world without you." He hugged her back. This was progress. They heard the front door close. Teresa wiped her eyes and said, "c'mon, sounds like Max is back." Reluctantly, Joe followed. They sat at Joe's kitchen table silently. Max and Teresa ate their pizza while Joe just looked at his.
"Joe, you need to eat," Max said.
"What's the point," he mumbled.
"The point is that you're gonna spiral into depression and escape into your own little world and forget about all of us and only worry about yourself while we all wait for you to come out of the dark hole in your mind you've escaped to and I get it your best friend just died but the least you can do is EAT THE DAMN PIZZA!" Max screamed the last part. Joe tried to eat the pizza, but halfway through he started crying and threw up. Joe ran away to his room. The house phone rang.
"Hello?" Teresa said.
"Hi, Teresa," Mrs. Kerring said, "I'm working late tonight, you guys can stay over if you'd like."
"Yeah of course."
"Okay, I have to go now, bye."
Max ran upstairs after Joe while Teresa cleaned up where Joe had thrown up. Joe sat, head on his knees by the closet, facing the mess he'd made. The comforter was no longer on the bed, the mattress on the floor. Pillows had been thrown on the floor, some of the feathers had fallen out.
"Joe..," Max said quietly. She sat next to him and held him as he cried.
"Joe I'm sorry," she said.
"I fuck up everything," he squeaked out.
"Joe that's not true," Max said, crying. A few minutes later Teresa came up.
"Come on Joe, let's get you a bath. Being clean makes you feel better. And the warm water will help you relax."
"No, I don't want to." After some convincing, Joe walked with them to the bathroom. Max filled the tub while Joe took off his shirt and pants.
"You gonna take those off?" Teresa said, referring to Joe's boxers. He looked reluctant.
"Joe, we're your best friends, now take them off." Joe took off his boxers and got in the bath. Once again he'd passed tears and gone back to silence and non-communication. He stared at the tiled wall while Teresa washed his hair. Teresa started to sing softly. Joe used to love when she sang, she had a beautiful voice. Her voice wasn't perfect at the moment as she had been fighting back tears. Joe, her best friend, so depressed that she had to bathe him for him.
"My wish, for you," she started softly, "is that this life becomes all that you want it to." She had to stop because she started crying softly. Max continued for her.
"That your dreams stay big and your worries stay small, you never have to carry more than you can hold," she wasn't as good as Teresa, but she tried. Teresa managed to continue, "and while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you." She tried to have Joe dunk his head under the water to rinse the soap off, but that appeared to be a bad decision. Joe started to inhale the water, Teresa quickly pulling him back up.
"NO! I want to die-ie-ie," he wailed, coughing up water. Max quickly ran to get a cup so Teresa could rinse the soap out that way. They wrapped him up in a towel and brought him to the couch in the living room. Teresa sat next to him while Max painted his nails blue. Joe was counting under his breath. That must help him calm down or focus on something other than death.
Joe and Teresa fell asleep on the couch while Max put a blanket over them. She went and cleaned up Joe's room then grabbed herself a blanket and slept on the floor next to the couch.