Zoe’s POV
Stirring the next morning, I woke up to discover the opposite side of the double bed I had spent the night in was now empty, with the duvet pushed back and the bed sheet crinkled. Wondering where Alfie had got to, I climbed out of the bed to go find him. Just as I straightened up, he appeared in the doorway dressed in just his stripped jack wills boxers, reaching above his head whilst whistling a tune far too cheerful for this reasonably early hour of the morning.
“Oh no you don’t, get back into bed sleepy head.”
Alfie complained at me, directing me back into the bed before I could even attempt to argue back.
“I’m getting you breakfast, wait here.” He spoke, before leaning over the bed to place a soft kiss on my lips and turning on his heal heading back into the kitchen. Smiling to myself at how sweet Alfie was being, I thought over last night’s events and how rushed everything had seemed to be going from Alfie being my brother-like best friend to the boy I was romantically kissing at our friend’s dinner party. It all suddenly seemed far too quick for me, but the negative thoughts were straight away flushed from my mind as a strong smell of burning filled my nostrils. Quickly running into the kitchen to find the source of the smell, I found Alfie faffing over the toaster with steam flying everywhere.
“Oi! I thought I told you to wait in the bedroom mrs.” Alfie picked up the pace as he spoke, waving his arms frantically in the air as he attempted to waft the smoke from the toaster towards the now open window. Chuckling at Alfie, I noticed sadness creeping onto his face as he couldn’t produce me the romantic breakfast he had planned. There was a tray set up on the kitchen counter top with a glass of orange juice and one simple red rose draped across the edge of a plate. The plate had an egg cup on top with plenty of space next to it for the toast that was now falling out of Alfie’s hands into the bin; a rich black burnt layer covering both slices. I wrapped my arms up around Alfie’s neck, kissing him softly on the lips and thanking him for the effort. As he smiled down at me, Alfie’s hands slid down my body towards my bum, lifting me by the very top of my legs and placing me on the kitchen counter top next to us, my legs staying wrapped around his strong upper body as he stood between them.
“I’m so lucky to finally have you.”
He didn’t let his smile leave his face as he spoke, placing his forehead against mine like he had after our very first kiss. The comment shook me slightly, unaware that I was officially ‘Alfie’s’ and suddenly felt myself becoming rosy in the face as I attempted to lose Alfie’s eye contact, unsure of what I thought of the sudden situation. My mind was once again in overdrive, I seemed to constantly be confused over my feelings for Alfie.
“hmmm, anyway hurry up and get dressed…we’ve got to go find some proper breakfast!”
I spoke to Alfie, who was still laden in just his boxers, realising afterwards that I sounded abit too blunt dismissing his previous comment so quickly.
“Don’t pretend you don’t enjoy the sight Zo.” he called back to me as he wandered back into the bedroom to change into slightly more clothes, a suitable amount for the current early British summer climate anyway.
///
After Alfie faffing over his outfit for far too long, we were finally out of the flat with the sun’s rays beaming down on us as Alfie took my hand in his marching down towards the local Costa, not seeming to be bothered that a friend or worst, a viewer, may see us.
When we finally reached the shop, I headed to find a table outside…not wanting to sit inside on an already stuffy day, whilst Alfie got us a couple of drinks and sandwiches. Our plan for breakfast had gone out of the window when we saw plenty of little boutique shops I wanted to visit, having not really explored this side of the capital before. We sat and talked for what seemed like hours before heading out to a couple more shops. It was a perfectly fine afternoon, nothing special. I’d felt pretty uncomfortable at times which was so unusual for me and Alfie. Usually, when we were together nothing would be awkward, we could literally do or say anything and it would be fine but today was different. I know our friendship was obviously different now but I didn’t understand why it felt so weird for me. Alfie would say phrases such as “babe” which he had said plenty of times to me before but as soon as he said it now I would flinch. Yet, I was so unsure why I felt this way. I knew I liked him and I knew I wanted him but it was as though alarm bells were ringing in my mind, for some stupid reason that I just couldn’t pin point.
///
As the taxi pulled up at the station, my stomach pained just like it always did when I was leaving Alfie. It was so much more different this time though; I really was going to miss him but I just didn’t know if I was going to miss him as my friend Alfie or my potential boyfriend Alfie.
Cuddling my face into Alfie’s chest as he waited with me on the platform for my train back home, I pondered whether I should say something to him…not wanting to lead him on if I was suddenly going to have an epiphany and decide he really wasn’t for me...though it was too late:
“Zoe, I really do love you, you know?”
It killed me that I couldn’t truthfully return the same words and I knew it was time to speak up before I made this any worst.
“Alf I know, it’s just I feel like this is all going abit, I dunno, fast I guess and-”
“Right, fine okay, I get it. Whatever Zo you don’t like me. That’s just pathetic though, like really? could you not just have said something before you shoved yourself on me last night.”
Seeing Alfie angry hurt me even more and realising we were causing quite a scene on the platform I attempted to pull him to the side for a little more privacy, though he was having none of it.
“Nope, I’m done. Good luck with your life Zoe.”
He walked off straight after that, storming down the platform. I knew there would be no use going after him, he wouldn’t listen and he needed space so that was what I would give him. As my train pulled up to the platform, I attempted to wipe away the tears that were beginning to stream down my face. My attempt was pretty much a failure, the only thing on my mind being the four of Alfie’s words that hurt the most “You don’t like me.” I just wish he’d let me finish, not cut me off so early because then he would know the truth, that I really do like him.
