Depression is like nightmare. I have no control of what's going on. There is no way out and it feels like no one cares. No matter what I do I'm never good enough. I'll always be useless, not good enough, worthless and hopeless. I'm scared and lonely all the time. No matter what I'm doing or who I'm with the feelings are always there. It feels like an endless circle of quilt, worthlessness, pain, fear, and weakness. You feel like there is no point in trying anymore. It's an endless circle of failure. You feel empty, like you're not really existing. You're breathing, but that doesn't mean that you're alive. It's when it hurts to smile, hurts to laugh, hurts to breath. Everything you do hurts and there's no getting away from it. No one understands what you're feeling. You're silent but in reality you are screaming for help and no one can save you. You're on your own for now on. Everything you do leaves you tired. Things you used to enjoy, they don't bring any comfort to you. The only thing that might bring relief is the feeling of the cold blade, the taste of alcohol, the smell of drugs. People will try to take those things away from you, but you don't let them. They don't understand what it's like living with depression. It's your throat tightening up with every sob as you cry making it harder and harder to breathe. It's hoping that every night you don't wake up, that maybe the pain will finally stop, even though you know it won't. It's always lying when someone asks you "How're you?". It's always feeling tired, even if you sleep for ten hours. It's feeling so weak, every muscle in your body aching. Depression is all of those things and so much more. It's unexplainable. Only you know what your depression feels like. You know how horrible it is. You know it feels like it'll never end. But you know what? You aren't alone in this.
