You Can Be My Voice

Chapter 1

When Dean didn't come to the kitchen in the morning, Sam knew something was up. He waited a good two hours past the time Dean usual got up, but there was still no sign of him.

Sam sighed and pushed his chair out, standing and stretching. He downed the last of the smoothie he had made himself and headed off towards Deans room.

The halls were quiet. Deans room was quiet. There was no music or bad porn playing. Dean was either sleeping, or laying in complete silence.

It proved to be neither. Dean was standing in his bathroom, looking in the mirror. Sam came up slowly, so as not to startle him, but even as he put a hand on Deans shoulder, his brother didn't respond.

"Dean? You alright?" Sam asked quietly. Deans lip quivered, but he didn't open his mouth. He made no noise.

"Dean, look at me." Sam said gently, turning him away from the mirror. Deans eyes met his. He looked panicked.

"Can you not talk?" Sam asked. Dean stared at him, his eyebrows moving to look sad almost.

He desperately wanted to respond. He just couldn't.

"Dean, you hear my voice. Listen to me. It's ok. Quiet day, right?" Sam said. Dean didn't answer.

He got this way sometimes, after particularly bad hunts. It hadn't happened in years, and Sam could understand Deans panic. He had explained it once when they were young, how he just couldn't get the words out, couldn't even nod yes or no sometimes. He just felt stuck. That day, Sam told him about selective mutism.

"Do you want me to stay quiet to?" Sam asked. Dean reached out and fisted his hand in Sam sleeve. He nodded and lifted his hands.

'We can sign today. Can you sign?' Sam asked. Dean just stared at him pleadingly.

'It's going to be alright. Come eat some breakfast.' Sam signed.

Dean visibly relaxed, like a weight has been lifted. He slumped and his eyes closed to relatively normal size. Sam prayed to thank Jess for the idea of that ASL class in college.

'Come on. Do you want to lean on me today? You can relax.' Sam motioned. Dean looked up to meet his eyes then, and Sam knew it was a yes.

'Cereal or eggs?' Sam signed. Dean bit his lip.

'Right, sorry. I will make eggs.' Sam signed. Dean seemed happy with that, and continued walking alongside Sam, holding his elbow.

When they got to the kitchen, Dean sat down at his place like normal and Sam cooked. Dean just watched silently, not feeling the need to move.

Once his eggs were in front of him, he did what Sam had gotten used to expecting, and pushed them towards him. Sam shook his hands and smiled, a universal 'no thank you' signal, and Dean pulled the plate back towards himself, scarfing it down like usual. Sam grinned and shook his head.

'You're going to choke one day.' Sam signed, getting Deans attention. He just smiled around a mouthful.

As soon as Dean was done, he got up, and put his plate in the sink. He rinsed it off and walked back to the table, seemingly waiting for something. Sam stood up and got his hands ready.

'Do you want to watch a movie?' Sam signed. Dean reached out and put his hand on Sam bicep. Sam nodded.

He eventually lead Dean to their "living room" which consisted of a couch, a DVD player, and a small tv. Dean plopped down and waited, and Sam scanned the movies. He settled on Indiana Jones, a relatively tame movie that would relax Dean, and held it up. Dean smiled and Sam put the disc in.