Looking Up, Moving On

Chapter 1

Anna's POV

Another day. Another scar. Another bruise. Another scar. Another beating. Another scar. Another person. Another scar. Another grounding. Another scar. Another argument. Another scar.

That's about how my life goes. My best friend Sam on the other hand. Her life goes like this.

A new book. Reading. Practicing music. Homework. Studying. More books. Then more practicing music. Ignoring the jocks. Ignoring the bullies. More books.

Her life always seems so easy compared to mine. I've given up hope on people. I've given up hope on my generation. Life is shit. I'm surprised my dad hasn't killed me yet. Honest. He acts like he's going to every night when he raises his drunk hand and beats me. I have that at home then go to school and get beat by the two dumb ass "bad boys" who just insult people. They love picking on me and Sam. More me because I let them. I don't fight back. I just take it all in. I just take everything in. I don't disagree when everyone insults me. I know I'm shit. I know I'm trash. I know I'm a waste of space. You don't have to tell me twice. You don't even have to tell me at all. I already know. Oh and you know what! Even the cheerleaders love to pick on me. I'm just a little nerd. I don't have feelings. I don't deserve anything. I don't deserve to even breathe. You're right. Thanks for telling me. Thanks for telling me I'm fat. I'm ugly. I'm unwanted. I'm worthless. Thanks for everything. Gotta love life. Especially when people say "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade". My life has no fucking lemons in it. It's just sour shit that nobody wants. My life sounds like a pity story if I were to tell you everything. I don't want pity. I don't want anything. I tried to kill myself last year. Sam saved me... I guess I can thank her for that, but I really don't want to be here. I hate my life. At least Sam's parents are nice. Or so they seem when I'm over there. Which isn't super often. Sam and I usually go to the library. She sticks her nose in a book while I'm messing around with the computers. Don't get me wrong library computers are shit, but it's better than what I have waiting for me at home. I usually just play some stupid games.

I got up to the sound of my alarm. I walked into the bathroom and started the water for a shower. I opened my drawer in the bathroom and pulled out my blade. It'll take all the pain away. All the pain away. Right... I took the blade and drew it across my wrist watching the blood ooze from the new scar. I drew it across a few more times before stripping and hopping into the shower. I enjoy the stinging from my scars. Reminds me what it's like to be alive. To feel pain. I feel immune. I don't know how considering how much shit I go through. Oh well. I got out of the shower and pulled on some jeans and a long sleeve shirt to cover my scars. I grabbed my matching dark blue beanie and my backpack. I ran down the stairs and past the kitchen ignoring my growling stomach. I ran to the bus as it pulled away from my stop.

"Great, I missed the fucking bus" I cursed under my breath "Guess I'm walking"

I started my trek towards school. Luckily I would make it in time for first hour. I walked down the sidewalk as I heard people screaming from behind me. I ignored it and kept walking. A black car sped past me driving through a puddle soaking me in water. I ignored it and kept walking. The car slowed to a halt a bit ahead of me. I kept walking and ignored the shouting. I knew exactly who it was. Nick and Jonah along with the two head cheerleaders. I just call Nick and Jonah, Dumb and Dumber. The two cheerleaders who's names I don't know I call Bitch and Bitchier. Sam knows that what I call them all. Nick was driving slowly alongside me while they all shouted at me. I tried to ignore it. If you really want to know here's some of what they said.

"Hey there loser"

"Wow so poor you don't own a dryer"

"So emo"