Can't Pheel The D

Scars are beautiful

Phil's P.O.V

Everything will be okay as long as I am here.

"You're not here Dan, everything's not okay."

You are beautiful, even the scar.

"Scars are beautiful."

I layed in my bathtub, the water filled up to my chest, the water, brown. Mixed with my blood.

I want to be beautiful.

I felt the cold blade pressed against my skin, forming a cut, ever so averagely sized. The coldness of the blade made me shivered as I pressed it against my chest, forming another cut.

I had this hunger, maybe it's for sex, but I'd rather hurt with pain tthn pleasure. I don't deserve Dan, he's a treaure of a man. I'm a lonely prick. I don't deserve to be loved. I don't deserve anything.

"For what we become, we just feel more alone." -Fall Out Boy

Dan is perfect. How could he love someone like me? Maybe he's just saying all this crap... Did I really think he'd mean it when he said; "I love you." He can't possibly love me. He can't. WHY DID I EVER THINK HE'D-

I let out a sigh as the blade digged into my flesh. I want to be beautiful, the scars will make me beautiful. They had to. I watched as the mixture of my blood and the water grew darker, my blood adding to the colour.

Maybe I should just slit my neck.

I rose the blade up to my neck, hands shaking.

Do I really want to do this?

I dropped the blade. I had Dan, maybe he didn't love me, but his words are enough to last me tonight.

I drained the water out of the tub and stepped into the shower. The hot water seeped into my open wounds, causing them to burn and bleed even more. To be honest, I wished I wouldn't. But I can't help it.

I felt a tear slipped. It rolled down my cheek and fell into the floor. Just like every other one.

Kinda like me? And how Dan sees me.

Just another one.

Dan's P.O.V

After I took a shower, Phil went home, I hoped he was okay.

I sat on the edge of my bed in silence, yet my hand was full of horrible flashbacks and thoughts.

The scar, the tears, the fear, those eyes, Phil.

Phil.

The man that once stepped into my shop with that cute awkward personality and the man that had a huge horrifying scar, mysterious past.

Those two men, are jumbled into one individual and he was whom I loved dearly.

What happened?

Why did he have that scar? Why did he hurt himself in the first place?

The angel was hurt but the human couldn't help, and so the human became the devil.

But as a devil, I couldn't help the angel. I was just a useless piece of shit that couldn't even help himself but wanting to help the person he loved.

Love.

Did I love Phil? Was I worth enough to love him? Did Phil even wanted to love me? Why would Phil even wanted to love me anyway?

I continue sat on my bed thinking about the thoughts I had inside my brain.

Phil was the one that made me see love in life yet he was the one that made me see the darkness of reality too.

And I loved him, so much, so much.

Too much.