~An Emison Story~ Second Chances

One Step Forward...Two Steps Back

"Mhmmm..." I her someone hum into my ear as they wrap their arms around my waist and I immediately stiffen. I bring my hands out of the water standing still as I was washing the dishes.

"Hey baby..." Em whispers as she nuzzles her nose into my cheek and presses her body against my back sensually. She's now trailing kisses down my neck to my shoulder. Normally I'd loosen up knowing it's her surrounding me and snuggle right back into her embraces but I just feel... off. I can't help it as my not-so-natural instincts kick in and I wiggle out of her embraces trying to get her to stop. Then out of nowhere my heart starts to race as I start to internally panicked. I can feel the thumping of my chest. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. Why am I panicking?

"Ali baby?" Em asks me sweetly, feeling something is off. Noticing I'm uncomfortable.

"Yeah?" I answer her as I continue to furiously wash the dishes, still stiff as a board in her arms.

"You okay?" Emily asks me with concern. Running her hand up and down my sides and me flinching slightly at her touch.

"Yeah, of course Emily... why wouldn't I be?" I turn around and look at her. Trying to put distance between us. She then steps back awkwardly and rubs the back of her neck. She looks so confused and hurt.

"You... you normally like it when I hold you or touch you. I-it's just lately. I feel like you don't like it. Like you don't want me near you." She walks to the fridge and gets a bottle water. Her eyes starting to water.

"No... it's not that." I try to convince her but she knows better. I feel my heart drop into my stomach. I'm being so stand-offish with her and she's right. I'm not enjoying her touching me lately.

"Yeah..." She darkly chuckles.

"I'm just hormonal." I try to play it off again and fake a smile.

"When did we start lying to each other so much?" Em looks at me and then walks out to the living room. Leaving me behind.

I struggle for a moment. Should I follow her? Should I just dismiss this? I'm just being weird. She's my wife. I shouldn't feel this way. I need to talk to her.

"Emily..." I call her as I walk into the living room with her.

"Yeah?" She lazily says well watching TV. Not looking at me, extremely hurt by my reaction to her earlier. I can see her nervously rubbing her hands on her jeans, not knowing what to do with them.

"I was hoping we could talk?" I walk over to her and sit next to her on the coach as she nods her head yes. We both sit in silence for a good 3 minutes, looking everywhere but at each other. Not knowing where to start.

"Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me? Because of the other night not coming straight home?" She lets out in one breath then sighing.

"No. I'm not upset with you." I respond immediately, starting to cry. For the first time ever. Emily doesn't immediately hug me. She just leans back against the couch and brings her hands to her face, sighing in frustration. Which just causes me to cry harder at her lack of compassion for me.

"Ali... why are you crying?" She asks me like her heart is broken and I'm being unreasonable.

"Because you're not hugging me!" I snap at her like it's all her fault. She then stands up and looks around confused.

"What do you want from me? As soon as I touch you, you freeze. For God sake you've been calling me Emily for the last 3 days! You only do that when you're mad at me. I just don't get it. I mean... Even when you're mad at me you let me touch you! You've always let me touch you. It's almost like... It's like your disgusted by me now!" Emily looks at me with sad eyes then turns to grabs her coat and purse, leaving the house. Again.