My Sweet Comeback

Chapter 46

46: Decision

LORRAINE's POV

It hurts.

It really hurts inside.

I don't want suffer this kind of pain.

All I want is to be loved.

I just want to marry my love.

And it hurts so much seeing him hurt and suffering because of me.

I know that he don't love me.

And i already accept the fact that no matter what I do he won't fall for me.

He won't love me.

No matter how I tried my best to give my all, efforts an everything.

Still. He wants Tohka.

He always pick her.

And here I am, said to be the ' girlfriend' but never feel loved.

It's been a one sided love since we become a 'couple'.

Alam Kong napipilitan Lang Siya Sa Lahat ng ginagawa niya.

Napipilitan Lang Siya makisama sakin at samin.

But what can I do?

I love him.

I really do.

I know I'm selfish to do all those dirty things.

I portrayed someone else just to fool him and be my boyfriend.

And still now I'm using that title for him to marry me.

I'm sorry.

I'm really really sorry.

But I just can't stand seeing him with someone else.

Happy and always smiling.

Especially Tohka.

I don't know what they see to her.

She's not that beautiful.

She just an average type of person but what makes her attractive?

She's not that tall and not that sexy.

And I'm tall , sexy and pretty!

I don't even get what they like from her!

What does she have that Everyone whose around me likes her?

What?

I hate her.

I hate her because she has all the things and people i wanted.

All I want is they're attention and love.

It's not that I hate her but to be honest,   I really envied her.

And it just hurts so much for me to say that.

I know I won because I have her throne and we will get married but why am I feeling like this?

I don't feel happy and contentment.

Yes I have what she has but I don't feel happy.

There's still something lacking and empty.

His heart.

Hindi man sabihin ni Xiumin Pero alam Kong mahal na mahal niya parin si Tohka.

Oo magpapakasal sya sakin Pero Ang puso niya nakay Tohka parin.

Sobrang sakit Lang isipin.

Bakit ganto?

Bakit Ako tinamaan at nagmahal Sa isang Tao na Hindi Ako kayang mahalin?

Bakit ko Siya minahal kahit na alam Kong kahit anong mangyari Hindi niya masusuklian Ang pagmamahal ko?

At Eto Lang naman bagsak ko eh.

Gabi gabi nalang akong umiiyak at nagkukulong.

And I'm here, inside my room.

Waiting for the Gown.

I'm all set up and done.

All I have been waiting for is the gown in going to wear.

Sitting here thinking everything I have done.

And feeling guilty.

Tama nga ata si Sohee.

Guilt.

Guilt was the feeling I felt all along.

It's not happiness and especially not contentment.

"Here's the gown ma'am." Pakita sakin ng employee ng wedding gown ko.

I just can't stop tears flowing through my cheeks messing my make up.

And in that very moment.

I realized everything and know what to do.

Now I have my decision.