3TS: The Chances of Starting Again

Falling Apart

It's terror. It's sadness. It's the flame that is slowly dying out. It's that part of the rope in your best friend friendship that is starting to break. Starting to fall apart. 

Arlene. My friend. My best friend was crying. And then, her head disappeared down the corner.

I had no time to tell Trent where I was going. With a single "I gotta go", I ran after her.

Sprinting as fast as I could, I rounded the corner to see her slip down the school hall. When I almost had caught up with her, she slipped through a classroom, nearing the school's main entrance.

"Arlene, wait! Wait, wait, wait. Please don't go. I'm sorr-" I tried to say, but she turned on me suddenly and interrupted.

"I'm actually happy for you, Krissa." In that moment, I could see her eyes were red. Her cheeks were wet with tears. And her books were being tightened in her clenched hands. Yeah, I could tell from her firm face that she was "happy".

"No. Your...you..." I said, faltering on what to say. Because her words caught me off guard. I thought she would be mad at me. I thought she was going to never be my friend again after this day. But my best friend was different. She was happy for me right at that moment.

At least trying as she forced a smile on her face as she spoke again, "He picked you." She looked into my eyes, "He picked you." She said it again as though she was trying to believe it herself. "And...it would have been great, just to spend a dance with him. I knew you are his. I knew it even before. It would have been fun, just for one dance. One dance as his date. But he chose you. So, as your best friend, I'm happy for you." She rubbed her tears away with one hand.

"No, you're not happy. I wish..." I said, not finishing the end of that sentence. I eyed the floor, suddenly feeling guilty. Guilty from the times I ignored my own friend as Trent spoke to me. Not trying to include her much in our conversations. Not talking to her more, because she did most of the talking.

"You wish what?" She said softly. And she was right...what was I wishing for?

She continued, "That he was going to pick me? That he liked me over you? That he deserves me?" She shook her head, as if I would never say those words. She looked down, "I thought I could get over this. That I could move on. That I could like someone else. But, feeling this pain...I feel..." She didn't finish her own sentence as she slid down to the ground. Breaking down right in front of my eyes. My best friend was falling apart. 

She deserved better. She needed someone to comfort her right now. But, right now, I couldn't. 

I was the enemy.

"I wish," I said softly as I looked back into her eyes. "that you could be happier."

"Krissa!" Someone appeared from down the hall, jogging towards us.

My heart fell like a stone, cracking down on the cliffs below. It was Trent.

This was making the moment worse.

"I have to go." Arlene said as she hurriedly pushed the school doors.

"Wait, Arlene-" I said, clutching her arm.

"Be happy with him Krissa. Don't worry about me. I. Am. Happy. For. You." She said with a small smile, gently pulling away from me. Hiding the fresh tears that were starting to fall down her face.

As the doors closed shut, Arlene was halfway down the sidewalk already as Trent jogged up to me.

Wheezing, he coughed gently, "You forgot your backpack."

Without a word, I looked up at him. He was sweet. He was a real gentleman. But was he good enough to come between me and my best friend?

Oh, if I just had another crush on another guy, Journal! This love life stuff would have been so much easier without being entangled within this love triangle.

Without a smile, I took my backpack. "Thanks." I said softly, looking down.

What could I do? The question reeled through my mind like the main question of a movie that hadn't revealed its happy ending yet.

Then something caught my eye. A silver spoon, pictured on a board about health issues. It wasn't my health (or Trent's health) I was thinking about at the moment. It was the silver.

"See you tomorrow?" Trent asked questioningly as I started to push the exit door open. He must have been confused. He didn't understand. He couldn't understand.

I looked back at him. What I was planning meant that I probably won't be seeing him tomorrow. Maybe I would see him...maybe last week. Sadly, I smiled at him.

"See you." I simply said.

In that moment, time slowed. I would never forget this moment. The cycle that he actually wanted to go out with me. The cycle I made to create an exciting friendship between the two of us. But there was another friendship I was worried about.

An eternal friendship that was starting to crack and splinter. 

With one last look at his hopeful face to "see me tomorrow", I turned away and walked down the sidewalk. Without looking back. Without thinking what was behind me and finally looking to the future.

My plan. My mission to piece Arlene's friendship back together with mine.