She should have been there. She should have saved her. Talked to her. Helped her... But as Kassie thought about it she started to realize that she was there. She was there the whole time, except the time that Camie needed her the most.
She always tried to talk to her, ask her what was wrong, comfort her. But none of that had helped. Camie was just like her. Camie didn't like to talk about stuff, she only liked to think about stuff. That was Kassie's problem. She wanted so badly to change, but she couldn't. She tried to change, but believe it or not it was hard.
"Kassie?" Robert walked around the corner. "Kassie, I know this is really hard for you but we need you to try." He sat down on the concrete next to Kassie. They were a few feet apart but the distance felt like they were miles apart. "You don't understand. It's not that easy to change. Not for me," Kassie said. She wasn't mad at him. She was done being mad at everyone. It wasn't worth it anymore. He was trying to understand, trying to help. She wanted him to help. She didn't want to end up like Camie. She wanted to live her life.
"I do understand what you're going through Kassie. I was just like you. I still am like you. I hate talking to people. I hold it all in but then one thing makes it all spill over. I blow up. I lose friends. They try to help, but no one can really help us Kassie." Robert looked over at her. he looked mad all of a sudden, like he was going to explode... "I was a foster kid. I moved constantly and I didn't have any friends. No kid at my school understood me and I felt all alone. But you know what Kassie?" "What?" She felt like she could talk to him about anything. This small thing that he told her opened up so many doors for her. She wanted to tell him all the small things that no one knew about her.
"I made it work. I made it work Kassie. I went to college, one of the best colleges in the country. I got a job in this small little town and I made it work. I'm married to this beautiful, amazing, smart women and I have the cutest little girl. Kassie I made it work. And I want the same for you. Most of the kids who come through foster care end up on the front page of the newspaper for rape or murder. I don't think you'll be that kid. Prove me right Kassie."
"My favorite color is red, I have six months to get into college and I want a miniature poodle. Not one to show off like all those prissy jerks. One to love. Oh and he's not going to have that haircut with the ball of fur on his tail." Robert looked over at her and smiled. They stayed there until it was dark, talking about stuff they liked and stuff they hated. They talked about the stuff they wanted and the stuff they had. They talked.
***
"Are you willing to talk Kassie?" "Yes but only about the things I'm willing to talk about. You wont force me to talk about stuff I don't want to talk about." Ms.Johnson shut the door and walked over to the plastic chairs. They were fancy here, they had plastic chairs. Note the sarcasm.
Robert sat down across from her and smiled. He had papers in a stack in front of him. Kassie figured that these were her "option" papers. She was going to have to decide what to do. It wass odd that they were going to let her decide for herself. They hadn't done that in the previous years, not that she knew of anyway. She had talked to a lot of foster kids who were about to turn eighteen. They always had this stuff decided for them. Maybe it wasn't even that...
"Okay Kassie we need you to tell us what you know about Camie", Ms.Johnson said and looked down at the papers she had. That's what they were. Papers about Camie. Great. "She was a good kid. She went to school, she had friends, boyfriends even. She was like the pretty popular girl. The Kassie I knew would never do this to herself. But I didn't really know her." She didn't mean to say it aggressively but that's apparently how it came out. She could tell by the look on Robert's face. He was frowning.
"It was Tif. She did this to her. Tif and Rob were threatening her a few days before it happened. Abusing her actually. And I should have helped. I tried okay. I just didn't try enough."
