The Color of Darkness COMPLETE NOVEL

Heart

I didn't get much sleep that night, despite being curled up next to Nova's warm, slumbering form. The sky was just beginning to lighten to a royal blue on the eastern horizon when I carefully untangled myself from her sleeping form and slid out of the sleeping bag. The air was already pleasantly warm and a chorus of birds chirped away above us in unison. I tried to yawn away my sleepiness, knowing I wouldn't be able to settle back down since I was already up.

I parked my butt at the base of a gnarled old tree of some sort and leaned back, taking in deep breaths of the morning. I thought about our conversation the night before, and about Nova and Rick inevitably leaving our sleepy hometown. I wondered if I would ever actually be able to leave, myself. Graduation was only a year away, and then what? Would I really spend my life stuck in the same dusty excuse for a town? Would I follow Nova endlessly, searching for the relationship that never seemed to actually happen? I didn't want to imagine I'd resign myself to something like that, I didn't want to lose Nova, and I didn't want to ask her to change for my sake.

I had absolutely no idea what I should do.

"You're up kinda early."

I gave a start as Rick sat down next to me with a groan. I looked around, alarmed. It looked as if I had been lost in my thoughts for almost an entire hour. I shrugged at him and continued to stare off into the east, where a fiery glow was threatening to break the horizon. The morning's birds had been joined by a chorus of insects, filling the air with the sounds of summer.

"What's on your mind, Puck?" Rick said finally, looking over at me. I glanced back, surprised to see a hint of stubble along his jawline--I had never even realized that he kept himself so clean-shaven.

"I'm not sure," I admitted truthfully after some silence.

"Is it Nova?"

I let out a half-bitter, half-amused chuckle. "Isn't it always?"

"Man, I'd like to pretend I totally don't get you too, but I'd be lying if I said that were the case." Rick picked up a twig off the ground and began snapping it into tiny pieces, letting them fall to the ground one by one. I blinked at him in surprise.

"What do you mean?"

Rick sighed and tossed the rest of the stick away and leaned his head back against the tree, giving me a sideways glance. "I mean, anyone else could look at your relationship--friendship? Whatever-- and wonder how the hell you guys got mixed up in such a mess. But I can't. I think I actually, finally get it after all this time."

"Oh yeah?" I picked up the twig he threw and concentrated on finishing the job. "You've got me beat. I have no clue how I'm in such a mess, I guess."

"It's pretty obvious, isn't it? I mean, you have to have realized it by now."

"Rick, just shut up and tell me already." I tossed a handful of tiny twig pieces at him and he grinned.

"It's your friendship, Puck; obviously. Especially for Nova. I mean, God knows I'm aware of your... shenanigans," he said with an eye-roll, "but you two always go back to the same cutesy little platonic gag-fest that you've had going on since we were kids."

I paused, trying to understand what he was saying. "And this means... what, exactly?" I ventured with a frown.

"And you're supposed to be the smart one," he said with a laugh. "It means that, at the end of the day, you and Nova may well be perfect for each other, but you'll never know because you're afraid of jeopardizing your friendship."

"She said she loved me, though." I blurted out, feeling my face for hot.

"And? Of course she loves you. You love her. Fuck, I love her for crying out loud. We've been friends forever."