phoenix | a.i

4

february 5, 2016
dear michael,

you asked me if i like that girl i wrote about the other day. well, michael, the answer is no. i don't think i do. it's too fast.

that girl didn't come to the group therapy today. and i didn't know where she was.

glen still did not urge us to speak that much, but i did too, actually. the only thing i said was, 'glen, can i use the toilet?' and he said yes. so i left.

to be honest, i was thinking about leaving the place and found anywhere else to hang around until it's time to go home. i didn't even want to pee at that time. i was bored.

when i got out, i saw her. she's smoking around the corner of the building. so i walked up to her, nervously.

our conversation went like this;

me: 'uh- hey. you're in the group therapy, aren't you?'

she: 'yeah'

me: 'well, i'm ashton, you?'

she: 'phoenix.'

me: 'that's a cool name.'

she: 'it isn't. unicorn is.'

by that time, i was a bit confused. i assumed she was making a joke, so i laughed. i really think phoenix is a cool name. i bet you do too. but her reaction was just her deadly stare.

so i was like, 'why don't you come in?'

she shrugged. 'i don't want to.'

and i was like, 'oh,' that was really all i could say. (don't laugh at me, mike. you know i'm not good at talking.) and then i added, 'talk to you later then? umm, have fun smoking?'

phoenix gave me a weird look. i know why. i'm such an awkward person, don't you think? have fun smoking. what does that even mean?

and glen looked at me like he knew i wasn't at the bathroom. he didn't say a thing though. he just kept his eyes on me. obviously, it's very awkward, and uncomfortable.

this is such a long letter, but this is all i had for today. write me more about your life, yeah? you mostly just write about you and your meal, it's boring.

love,
ashton