Lockwood and Co. book 4: The Creeping Shadow

Chapter 1

       (Author's Note: This flashback takes place right from the last part of the Hollow Boy)

       There was silence in the room. George looked mournfully at the cake that he claimed he would no longer be able to enjoy. Holly continued to look at her lap, twisting her fingers so much it looked painful. And Lockwood, eyes dark and no longer full of their usual sparkle looked at me with a blank, shut off expression. My heart wrenched. That expression wasn't what I wished to see. I could have taken anger, or even hate, but not that look. The look one gives a stranger or one whom they wish not to know.

       Holly finally looks up, still twisting her fingers. "Well," she says in a shaky voice, not even meeting my gaze. "I suppose I ought to go get your file, and the resignation forms." She slides out of her chair hands trembling, and almost trips, trying to leave the dining room. 

       George glanced up at me his eyes questioning. I could practically see the wheels spinning in his head. His ingenious brain clearly calculating the millions of reasons that could have lead to this outcome. I don't look at him intentionally. George is far too clever. I wouldn't put it past him to piece together why I want to resign. 

       Lockwood has gone from looking at me in a distant manner, to staring at me intensely, with an expression almost as calculating as George's. His mouth parts as if he wishes to say something but is not sure what. My claim of being a burden to them has not quite convince them. He and George have known me for far too long. 

          I felt rather awkward under their close scrutiny. I clear my throat. "Well right then. I suppose I should get to packing."

           George blinks. "But surely you must be joking Lucy! This is madness! If we thought you were as much of a burden as you claim, we would tell you! What you're saying doesn't make any sense!"

            I walk quickly out of the room, not wanting to get involved in another war with words with George.

             "Lucy!?" George hollered after me. "Damn it!"

            "Leave her be George," I hear Lockwood says quietly,as I stop by the stairs.

              George gives him an incredulous look. "Surely you can't believe this hogwash she's spouting Lockwood? This is a load of bull!" 

               "I don't," Lockwood agreed. "I think there's a lot more to this decision then what she's telling us. But it's not as if we can stop her. But there is one thing I agree with that she said. She isn't feeling in control of her abilities. That sort of self-conscious attitude can endanger agents. Get them killed even.  And I won't have a loose cannon endanger the members of my company. " 

          I feel a pang of hurt. 'Loose cannon?' I know I had pretty much admitted this myself but it still hurt hearing it from him. And the flat tone with which he said it didn't make things any better. I hear George putting Lockwood on full blast, saying things like why is Lockwood so emotionless about the matter. But I barely comprehend his words. My brain is locked on the words Lockwood said and the lack of emotion of which he said it. And suddenly I am more resolute than ever in my decision to leave Lockwood and Co.

          I hurry up the stairs to start packing, trying to ignore the tightness of my throat, and the feeling of hurt in my heart.