No Time Like Goodbye

Chapter 9- Hazel

"I love you, Hazel." The words were so unexpected. My head snapped up, and I stared at him.

"What did you say?" I asked, awestruck. Wait- was I dreaming? Yeah, that had to be it. He would never normally say anything like that. Right?

Before I could say anything else, Dylan was already trying to correct his evident mistake. "Oh God, that came out wrong. I didn't really mean it that way. What I meant was like, 'Man, I love you, you're the best.' You know? Just kinda... One of those... Things."

He trailed off slowly, looking at me as though I was about to slap him. But I didn't, just staring at him, dumbstruck. I knew he was lying. Dylan Knightly was the worst liar I have ever met. You didn't have to be his best friend to know he wasn't being honest.

"I'm gonna... Go..." He said after several uncomfortable minutes, sliding out of the booth and looking at me once more. His eyes held a sort of pain I had never seen reflected in those eyes I knew so well.

"Wait, Dylan, don't go..." But even as the words left my lips, he was gone, out the door and into his car faster than I could even react.

My mind blurred with thoughts, a thousand different things running through my cerebrum at once. I had feelings for him, of course, but I had never thought they would be reciprocated. I always thought we were just friends, forever destined to be just that.

Friends. It seems such a trivial word now that I think about it. Were Dylan and I still friends? I didn't know. Based on the way he had just fled the restaurant, I can only assume we weren't. I can only assume the worst.

A few minutes later the pizza arrived, half pepperoni and half vegetarian. I avoided looking at the empty seat across from me, and the untouched half of the pizza. It hurt too much to imagine that this had been my last time with Dylan in this place that had been so special. I couldn't face it. Not at that moment.

I hate my half of the pizza to silently, dreading having to walk home and passed his house, knowing there was a good chance I would never be welcome there again. maybe if I just sat here a few more minutes, he would come back and they would all be alright.

Eventually, however, I had to leave. It was nearly midnight, the streets of our small town shadowed and grim. Seeing as I had no car of my own, and Dylan was my ride, I was forced to walk home alone. I took my time, wandering the streets aimlessly for a while, hoping this was all just a dream and I would wake up sometime soon.

But somehow, inexplicably, I arrived at the back door of my house. The lights were all off, my brothers and parents fast asleep, not knowing the true turmoil I was going through just outside the home. The back door creaked as I opened it- had it always made such a loud sound?- but I paid no attention. Maybe if I woke someone they would be there and be willing to listen. That would be better than just me and my thoughts.

It won't do to ponder on this tonight, I thought as I climb the stairs to my room. I can talk to Dylan tomorrow. Maybe we can work this out. It needs to be worked out.

"I love you too," I whispered as I fell into my bed, my eyes closing of their own accord. It was what I should have said in response to Dylan's proclamation.

Maybe this could have all been avoided if I had just spoken my mind in that Moment of clarity, if I had just replied with 4 words I have been dying to say for years. It was true, though.

I was in love with Dylan Knightly. And I had just ruined everything.