Beneath Your Broken

Chapter four

I sat in the car. The sun was just coming out. Guess where I was going.. The Clearfield Young Adult Center. I'm not crazy. I'm not "fucked up" like everyone at school says I am. I am not psycho. I'm not. I know what I am. I am confused. I am hurt. I am broken. I look down at my wrists. They are covered in scars that have yet to disappear. I have cuts. A lot of them. Everywhere. I lie my face on the cold window.

When I open my eyes I'm in a room. A white room with nothing in it. I have foam cubes on my hand. Wow, they really think I'm crazy. "OH MY GOD!" I scream. I punch the wall over and over and over until I wear out. I sink to the ground and cry. I'm so hurt that I feel it on the inside. I feel like everything inside me is collapsing. My family is embarrassed of me, my bestfriend's dead, everyone at my school can't stand to see me not hurting. I have no one. I wish I could see Niall one more time.. But not like this. He would never talk to me again if he knew me. If he knew what I've done and who I am and how much I hate myself.

"Hi Baylee. My name's Mrs. Calderson." I just glare at her without answering. "You're family left." I looked at her for a few seconds when I jumped for her and knocked her to the ground when I remembered I had the foam cubes on her hands. A siren went off and a group of big men came into the room and brought me out of the room and to a room with a bed and a table with flowers on it. Please note that the flowers are dead. Like I should be. Like I want to be.

I was left in the room alone. I sat down in the floor by the window. And pressed my face against the cold surface and cried once again. It seems like crying is all I ever do lately. This place seems to be in a rather large city. I watch them carry on with their lives. Probably going home from work to their families by now. I wish so much that my family cared. I know I don't show it on the outside, but on the inside I crave for their love and approval that I know I'll never get. It is just starting to get dark. I hop up on a bed with plain white sheets and white pillow cases. I easily drift off to sleep.