The Trainee

Chapter eleven

Armin rides with you and Samson back to where you were staying. You felt yourself shaking uncontrollably but you couldn't stop. Why? What is it about you that makes people want to kill you? Too wrapped up in your own thoughts, you didn't feel the carriage lurch to a stop.

"[F/n]." You jump at Samson's voice. "We're here. You coming Ar?"

"No." He helps you out but climbs back in to the vehicle. "I'll come back to help though. Give me an hour or two."

Back up in the room, Samson sits you in a chair and begins folding and piling your things for you. You wanted to help but you just couldn't move. You could barley catch your breath. All you could do was watch the bullet go through the pillow over and over again. Before you know it, Samson pulls you to your feet. "Breathe."

"I, can't."

He pulls a section of your hair forward and brings your hand up to it. "Feel your hair. Think about how long it is, what color it is, or what it smells like." You do as instructed. "Keep thinking about it and take a deep breath." You take the deepest breath you could.

"Now, I want you to close your eyes and hear my voice. Don't think about what I'm saying, just hear the sound of it." You nod in understanding. You focus on how calm and slow the tone was. "Now take a deep breath." This time you breath a little deeper.

"Look at your hands. Count each finger and see that they're all there." You count them all, 1-10. None were missing or damaged. "Take a deep breath."

You feel yourself calming down. He lets go of you and hands you some water. "Hold the water in your mouth. Think about what it tastes like. Now focus in that and take a deep breath." The water was cold. You could taste the minerals in it. It made you think of home.

"Now sniff the air and focus on a particular scent." You smelt the candles you had been burning before you left. 'Smokey' you thought. Without being prompted you take a final breath.

"Better?"

"Yeah."

"It's a trick my dad taught me. Comes in handy sometimes." You nod in agreement. "Now come on. Let's get your things together."

You grab your bags and Samson helps you pack everything up. By the time you finish Armin was there. He wraps you in a long hug. "How ya feeling?"

"Better." You pull apart from him and grab one of you few bags. "So where am I going now?"

"The scouting legion headquarters has several residence rooms mostly used for visiting officials." Army said grabbing your other two bags. "Erwin's orders are to have you move into one of those. Did you have a preference?"

You thought as you all made your way to the carriage. "I want one with a view of the sunset."

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"Don't worry about anyone trying to get you here." Samson said leaving. "The guards here are always looking for a reason to punch an MP in the face." You look to Armin who shrugs and gently ushers him out with a simple goodnight.

For a few days you didn't dare leave your room. You instead sat down and thought about the decision you had to make. From the last few hours it became clear.

You penned three letters to the commanders of each faction explaining your choices and any conditions you had. As expected you received an unsavory response from the Military Police. The stationary guard sent back a rather formal response and the scouting legion set up a meeting between you and Erwin.

"You want citizenship for your mother and brothers." The commander asked during your meeting.

"Yes. I want them to have the best life possible." In the event I'm not there for all of it.

Commander Erwin shuffled through some papers in an attempt to think. "There are many legalities to go through."

"My family's security is my main concern." He stops and you both hold eye contact for a time.

"I'll see what I can do."

You nod and scribble your name at the bottom of the enlistment form.