Remembrance

New Beginnings

The sun began to rise over the hills casting a soft glow on everything and everyone; the birds were beginning to wake and the atmosphere was filled with the joy of Spring. As the car turned into the stretched driveway, Tess lowered her window, inviting in a soft breeze scented with the smell of freshly clipped grass. She looked beyond the driveway at her old home, nothing had changed: the grass was a perfect green, the flowers in their prime and the old manor at the end stood tall complimented by the two oak trees standing proudly beside it. A third oak tree stood in front of the manor and a pebbled path led to the great front doors

Tess couldn't remember or fathom what living here must have felt like all she knew was that she was once happy in this house. Being back here felt bitter sweet. It had been six months since the day of her fall but she still couldn't remember. Tess was overwhelmed at what she might soon learn or uncover, her emotions a mixture of curiosity, guilt and worry. The doctor's words travelled through her mind interrupting her chain of thought, "Once you see, you won't be able to stop; hopefully you'll be able to remember".

"I need to do this, I have to know", Tess said out loud, trying desperately to ease the anxiety that filled her stomach by reaffirming her objectives. Tess felt responsible for her dilemma, how could she have forgotten her family? Tess would never be the same person until she could remember. She turned to look back at the approaching manor when she made eye contact with the old driver through the rear view mirror. He had a concerned look on his face but he turned his gaze back to the road as the car came to a slow stop in front of the house. The dust gradually began to fall behind the car as the wheels came to a skidding halt against the gravel.

Tess clutched her book tight, staring at the title inscribed in dark blue lettering amidst a midnight background; it read Once You Start to See You'll Never Stop. It was written by the same neuropsychologist Tess had visited. He was experienced in the field of memory loss. He believed a physical representation of what she had lost could easily restore her lost memories. Tess got out of the car determined to complete what she had started. She walked past two men holding chainsaws, both of them marvelling at the oak.

At a closer inspection of the tree Tess understood the situation. The tree had not survived the winter. "Out with the old and in with the new", one of the gardeners said as they both fired up their hungry chainsaws, ready to bring the once great oak to its knees. Tess continued to walk along the pathway to the house. Her heart began to beat against her rib cage. Her breathing got faster. Her hearing was lost. Her eye sight began to blur as her mouth became uncomfortably dry, but, Tess still approached. She closed her eyes pushing through the mental stress as her arms wrapped around the brass handle. She took a deep breath as she flung the door open, ready to reclaim what was rightfully hers.

She ogled at the ancient portraits littered across the walls. Huge, wide and small, they were all mixed haphazardly like minute pieces to a larger puzzle. The red carpet flowed down the room in a perfect parallel line aligning with the stair case. Tess looked at the stairs as her knees collapsed unable to hold her weight. In her mind's eye she could imagine herself falling down the stairs landing onto the eagerly awaiting floor. Tess began to hyperventilate as she opened her eyes to stare back at the driver. "I'm okay, just day dreaming", Tess blurted out before the barrage of questions could begin. She picked herself up with the aid of the driver. Formally, he announced to Tess, "Okay miss, I'll be out front if you need me", as he began to leave with a short bow.

Swiftly turning, Tess began to head up the stairs. Her stomach began to fill with guilt with every step. She reached the landing, turning right she could see her family portrait, the biggest in the whole house, a masterpiece of fine art dedicated to the love written among the four figure's faces staring back at Tess.

Her mind felt light then heavy like an empty jug gradually being filled with water. As flashes ran through her thoughts; one by one they bombarded her, her most treasured memories being played within her mind almost as if someone had found the rewind and fast forward buttons pressing them simultaneously. Her once empty incomplete mind felt like broken glass, bits and pieces either lost or hidden. As she continued to stare with a wide eyed expression on her face towards the portrait, all the tension inside her began to disappear as if her rewritten memories had finally returned to the shelves within her mind. Time seemed to slow down, as Tess descended back down the stairs, following the red carpet as her guide to her new redemption.

Walking out of the house Tess looked up towards the clouds as they began to form overhead, the soft pitter patter of rain hitting the ground could be heard. Closing the door; Tess walked onto the pebbled path awaiting the plunging rain. Slowly it began to surround her body like a mother nourishing its child. Tess danced to the melody played by the clouds above, she rejoiced at her once lost memories; now safely back within her grasp. The driver approached with a black umbrella shielding him from the rains barrage. He asked Tess, "Have you lost your mind?"

A soft smile began to form on her face as she replied, "No I've just found it!" Ignoring the bewildered expression painted on the drivers face, Tess continued her enchanting dance, mimicking the rains rhythm but her movements were soon halted.

A new cherry blossom tree had now taken the dead oaks place. Its pink leaves swaying to the beat of the rain, moving in a hypnotic cadence. The dead oak lay in the shadows of the new monument, its lost pride radiated off its fallen branches. Tess sat down under the exotic tree, staring at the gorgeous landscape before her.

The world appeared to be drenched in rain, all except for her sanctuary below the tree. Tess appeared to be drenched in rain all except for her sanctuary within her mind.