The Need (A Zustin Fanfiction)

Chapter Four

That night, I stared up at the ceiling, trying my hardest to get rid of the images of Louis and Liam, two boys, kissing each other with so much passion. The room was dark, seeing I was supposed to be asleep a while ago but that didn't stop my mind from working like mad. Liam still hasn't returned, much to my dismay. Have I scared him off? I secretly hoped I didn't, but another part of me was performing a happy dance if he never returned, or better; asked for another room. They looked so natural with each other, as if two boys kissing was okay, like it was normal.

I knew better though.

The way Louis' arms were wrapped around Liam's waist. How Liam secretly smiled during their kiss. My mind took another turn, and suddenly I saw myself kissing the beautiful stranger the way they did. I saw how I ran my hand underneath his shirt, earning a moan from him. He pushed me up a wall, our tongues fighting in absolute desire. My legs found their way around his waist, and without hesitation he grabbed my bum, giving it a soft squeeze.

I knew I shouldn't enjoy it the way I did, but the imagination caused the hairs on my neck to stand up. He was just so good looking. The kind of good looking that made you wonder not only twice, but a life time about him. That kind of good looking that made me feel so uneasy. I was being ridiculous, wasn't I? I never even talked to him. I don't even know his name. I know nothing about him. Nothing, but here I was thinking of him and myself in a way that was.. I didn't even want to think about it. I groaned, annoyed with myself and turned the other way, staring at my rommate's empty, yet clean bed.

Before I could think any further about my previous imagination, I heard the door open quietly and bright light almost blinded my vision. Whispers and giggles were exchanged, an innocent good night kiss was given until the darkness returned, telling me the door was closed as soon as it opened. I opened my eyes, and found the sillhoutte of Liam Payne sneaking into our room after curfew. What a rebel, huh?

Stumbling into our dark room, he almost would've tripped over my suitcase. I heard him curse under his breath, but I didn't pay much mind to it. I would've rolled my eyes at his stupidity but was too exhausted, too emotionally drained to force myself to do so. I just wanted to be back in California. Or better; die. Without realizing, I observed Liam's movements. Different than him, my eyes were adjusted to the darkness in the room, so I had the perfect sight on his sillhoutte. I was a bit myopic, but I could make out enough to see him reach for his zipper. He must've thought I was already asleep, then before I knew it, he began to strip off shamelessly.

On cue, I turned the other way.

"Justin?" Liam whispered, his voice sounding genuine and soft, a trait of him that I picked on by now.

"Hm?" I hummed, making him believe I was half asleep, when in reality I was wide awake.

"Nothing. Sleep well." He said, in such a fatherly voice, that it almost broke my heart. I called him a fag, was a complete asshole to him, but here he was, wishing me a good night. I couldn't believe someone like him was gay. He didn't even come across gay. I don't know what I expected, but I only knew the words my father fed me with. Maybe, I was expecting every homosexual to run around with a warning written on their forehead. Maybe.

Justin, get your shit together, a voice reminded me and quickly I found the strength in me again. What was my deal lately? I hug people, I care about gays, next thing I know is I cuddle. Yeah, sure, if that's ever gonna happen. I sucked my lips into my mouth and remained quiet. I heard him shuffle underneath the covers and peaceful, yet awkward silence surrounded us, and curiousity got the best of me. I had questions for Liam,  questions I needed answers to.

"Hey?" I asked before I could stop myself, much to my own surprise.

"Yeah?" He answered instantly.