Thank you to everyone who took the time to read/vote/comment the other two stories.
This one doesn't have a title so, I figured, better just call it untitled than giving it a random-shitty name. Hope you like it.
The small room was completely in the dark, the blue curtains had been closed and the light was off.
In the right corner of the studio Ben was sitting at his piano, his eyes closed, his hands softly caressing the keys.
But he wasn't playing. The melody was in his head, in his veins, in his heart.
It was a sad, angry and desperate melody that he wouldn't dare giving life to.
That was all he'd been lately. Sad, angry and desperate.
He let out a small sigh when the noise of his phone ringing interrupted the song in his head.
“Hello?”
“Benji, in 20 minutes, footie, you still up, yeah?”
“Oh yeah, right, of course, 20 minutes, I'll be there.”
“Great.”
Winston hang up before he could say anything else. He knew he did it because he was afraid he might change his mind and cancel.
Everything was so fucked up lately, he was really trying to do his best, to make things go back as they were.
To make things go back as they were before he and Marcus happened, before everything turned to shit.
He tried to stop his thoughts running towards the Marcus-zone, as he reached the bottom drawer to find something to wear.
His heart skipped a beat when he realised that the t shirt that his hands were holding was the one that Marcus gave him a long time ago.
A bitter smile formed on his face. That was his favourite t shirt, it was his football t shirt.
He threw it back into the drawer. It was just a stupid tee, no need to be so sentimental about it.
He picked up another one, grabbed his bag and quickly closed the door behind him.
**
Ben stays a little longer on the pitch, kicking away his thoughts along with the ball.
He didn't enjoy playing before, he couldn't wait for the match to end.
Marcus was there. It had been awkward and strange just like every other single time they had found themselves in the same room, or in the same space, in the last two weeks.
He picks up the ball and reaches the penalty spot and kicks again. He scores.
He stares for a while at the ball, still bouncing around, then he lays down on the grass.
His eyes closed, he tries to remember how he got to that point. Or better, how they got to that point.
All the best and worst memories of his life had Marcus in it. He just couldn't even think about the possibility of not having him in them anymore.
Four months before, during a silly drinking game mixed up with a sort of truth or dare, he was dared to kiss the person next to him. That person being Marcus.
They were drunk, everyone was drunk, so they kissed and everyone laughed and cheered and that was it.
But it wasn't really.
Cause when they got back to their room that night, they kept kissing and then their clothes fell off and they didn't even realise what had happend until the morning after, when they woke up all tangled up and naked in the same bed.
Ben smiles thinking about how awkward that morning had been.
But they've always been able to overcome everything together, so they just laughed, uncontrollaby, for what it looked like forever.
They had the standard conversation, “we were drunk”, “it won't happen again”, “what the fuck was that”, “i'm not into men”, “no, me neither” and so on.
It was true, none of them was exactly into men. But they were into each other.
So it became soon pretty clear that that night would have actually been followed by more nights.
They even managed to keep that their secret, just stealing kisses when nobody could see them and being together every time they could.
It seemed like they were fourteen again.
What had started like a game became something more, they were falling deeply for each other.
Then, one day, Winston saw them.
They thought they were alone backstage, they thought everyone went away after the gig, but they had missed Winnie.
The bottle of beer had slipped from his hand when he had walked in on his two friends kissing, half naked.
Ben shakes his head, trying to remove that image from his mind. That was not a good memory.
They had been caught off guard and they tried to explain what didn't really need to be explained and they fucked up.
He remembers saying some bad things, his heart hurts when the image of Marcus' hurt expression appears in his mind.
The truth is that he's the one who fucked up. He hurt deeply the feelings of the best friend he ever had and he didn't know how to fix that.
He could do without the kissing, without the fucking, without the sneaking around, but he was certain that he couldn't be without his best friend.
The pianist stands up, he is the only one left now, so he slowly walks towards the lockers to have a quick shower, change and go home.
He kicks off his shoes, takes off his tee, looks for the shampoo in his bag, but he can't find it.
“Looking for this?” a whisper coming from the corner of the room.
“Jesus, are you insane? You scared the shit out of me.”
A smile on his face, Marcus hands him the bottle.
“I forgot mine, I know you always have it, so...”
“I always have it cause you almost always forget yours.” Ben tries not to smile, but fails miserably.
He grabs the shampoo, but sits on the bench, in front of his friend.
“Can we talk?”
“Yeah, that's the idea, that's why I waited.”
Ben takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a second.
“I'm sorry. I know I hurt you. I didn't mean anything I said that night. Winnie caught us by surprise, I freaked out, I said things I didn't mean.”
“I know, you already told me that.” Marcus looks at him.
“I... I liked what we had. I liked being with you, I liked our moments. I really did.”
“But...” Marcus continues for him.
“But... I think it messed up too much what we had before. And I don't even wanna think about living without what we had before, what we have always had.”
A sad smile appears on Marcus' face.
“Yeah...”
“Don't you agree?”
Marcus stands up, slowly, and Ben does the same.
He kisses the pianist softly on his lips, then rests his forehead on the top of his head.
“I do.”
But he doesn't. He just knows that that's the right thing to do.
