Chapter 6

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Sorry it's so short!! But I had to get the plot going! I will update tomorrow or later hopefully!! Don't flip out bout it tho lol


Chapter 6 - In The End... I'm Not Afraid to Die.

Disarray's POV

After the signing I went back to my bus, sitting in the back bedroom of mine glaring at the floor.

He chose the hoe over me! Ya it was for something small but seriously? It pisses me off!

"Hey I gotta talk to you about something." Damon said as he walked in.

"What?" I snapped.

"Ronnie talked to me about the thing that happened with Crissy." He sighed and sat down next to me.

I rolled my eyes, of course he did.

"He said that its not what you think it is, he didn't chose her over you." He rubbed my back as he talked. I scoffed.

"Just call him." He ordered.

"Fine." I growled and pulled out my phone, dialing his number quickly.

It rung and rung, and I knew he wasn't going to answer. I was just about to hang up when I heard his voice fill my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hi." I said quietly.

"What's up hun?" He asked smoothly.

"I miss you." I said, bowing my head and rubbing the back of my neck.

"I wish I could come see you."

"Then why don't you?"

"I'm busy." He answered.

"With what?" I asked curiously, then I heard a high pitched laugh and I shook my head.

"Oh. Tell Crissy I said hi. Nice to see that she's taking up all your time." I said angrily.

"It's not like that." I could tell he was starting to get mad too.

"Then what is it like? Tell me. Enlighten me please! What is so damn important with her?" I stood up and walked out to the front of the bus and outside.

"We're just friends!"

"Right. She's a friend that comes before you're girlfriend?"

"I can't take this shit. Ill talk to you later." He said pissed off, and soon I only heard a beep telling me he hung up on me.

I sat down on the bus steps and ran my fingers through my hair, looking at the ground. I was seethingly pissed off. I shook my head stood up, I'm looking for that bastard.

I stormed off towards where his bus is, thinking about what I will say to him and Crissy.

The bus door was partially open when I arrived, I curled my fingers around the metal edge of it and opened it effortlessly.

"Hello?" Ronnie said as he walked over to the door as I walked onto his bus.

"Oh it's you. I thought it was a burglar or something." He smiled and pulled me into a hug, I melted in his embrace and held him tightly against me.

I felt him kiss the top of my head and I smiled and kissed his shoulder. Maybe it wasn't so bad that he was hanging out with Crissy, he was still mine.

"I'm sorry about Crissy. We are just friends." He whispered and I nodded against him, not noticing the way he secretly smirked against my head.

"I'm tired." I announced.

"Lets go lay down." He said and pulled me into his bedroom. I smiled and followed after him into his room, closing the door after I did. I looked around the room and smiled, stretching and grabbing a pair of black pajama pants and changing out of my shorts and into them, not caring of they were baggy on me. I climbed into his bed and waited for him to lay beside me.

When he did I curled into his chest, pressing my face into his neck and breathed in his Axe cologne that practically dropped from his pores it was so strong sometimes. He ran his fingers through my wavy hair and kissed my forehead softly.

"Why her?" I whispered.

"Hmm?" He questioned, I boosted myself up to look in his eyes and I sighed.

"Why her? Why do you hang out with her? She was just here." I asked.

Ronnie groaned and rolled his eyes, getting annoyed.

"She's just a friend Disarray. Let it go." He growled.

I shook my head and sat up. "Whatever Ronnie."

"I'm serious. It's nothing. Now can we just lay down and be happy?" He asked. I nodded and laid back down against him.

"I'm sorry." I said tiredly, my eyes growing tired.

"It's ok baby. It's ok." He reassured me and I smiled softly and closed my eyes. I drifted off, not asleep but not awake. My mind left me for a while, I became unaware of my surroundings except the feeling of Ronnie running his fingers through my hair.

I must have fallen asleep sometime though. It was dark when I woke up and I was in the bus alone. I sat up and my head pounded as I moved, I groaned and was forced to lay back down.

I fell asleep almost immediately again.

It was late morning when I woke back up, it was raining or it had previously rained.

I smiled when I found that I had a clear head and I stood up, my head perfectly fine. I grabbed my phone and skipped out of the room and out of the bus. And I wish I hadn't.

I looked around the new venue and found my love, the guy that had fixed me so perfectly. The guy that I had trusted with my whole life and world and everything. I found the love of my fucking life kissing the skanky whore that is Crissy Henderson. Oh my fucking god.

Anger came before grief.

"You are fucking kidding me!" I yelled as loud as I could, throwing the full can of monster at his back.

He looked at me with anger before the guilt sunk in, and that's when the tears started to run down my face.

"How could you?" I whispered with so much hurt in my voice.

"Dis baby..." He reached out towards me, I cringed back.

"No. Don't fucking touch me. We are so done!" I could barely see anything because I had so much tears in my eyes.

What I did see was Crissy turning towards me with a bright ass smile. I shook my head and looked at Ronnie, I shook my head and turned around and ran away.

I knocked into people but I shoved them away, I didn't care.

I found a brick wall that was on the side of the venue.

I slid down the brick wall so I was sitting against it, my head and back leaning against the cold and wet jagged edges.

I can't believe him.

I looked into the sky, letting my tears mix with the rain that was falling.

Images of Ronnie and that skank played in my head over and over again.

"You okay Dis?" A familiar voice asked, and I opened my eyes to see Max Green standing in front of me awkwardly, not liking the sight of tears and the quiet sounds of crying.

I sighed and wiped the moisture from my face before I nodded and stood up.

"Yea, thanks." I grumbled, looking into the eyes of the guy that had become practically a brother to me.

"Let's get you cleaned up, you have a show to do." He smiled softly before placing his hand in mine and starting walking towards the Into The Dead Sky, a.k.a my bus.

I was going to get Ronnie back for what he did.

When I got to my bus I headed straight to my room, grabbing a bottle of whiskey on the way. I locked the door and lit candles before flipping the lights off and turning on my CD player, letting music play. I laid down on my bed and looked up at the ceiling, letting the alcohol flow down my throat as easily as the tears were flowing down my cheeks.

Fuck performing. I looked around slightly dazed until I found the bottle of oxy and a razor. I cut up the pulls and snorted them effortlessly, not thinking about anything except Ronnie. I laid down curled into a ball under all my blankets and closed my eyes tightly, quietly sobbing.

In the end... I'm not afraid to die. I'm more afraid of being here, all alone, in a place where I barely know anyone. Feeling cheap, useless, cheated and so broken.




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