Enchant (Rae Wilder #3)

Chapter Three

Rubbing my hands on my knees, I’d opened my mouth about five times yet still not said a word. It was pathetic. The more I tried to make sense of my apology the more absurd and self-absorbed it sounded. And that was in my head. Imagining what it would sound like aloud was maddening because there was no way – in hell – I was going to seem so idiotic in his eyes.

Consequently, I was scuppered, because what on earth did I say to break the ice?

Or was I over thinking everything?

My courage was hiding somewhere around my ankles with about as much strength as a spider’s webbing.

I looked longingly in the direction Daphne had walked, staring, but not seeing. Damn her for leaving. He was killing me with the silence, and he knew it.

I hated that Breandan and I had so much unsaid between us, and constantly faced issues that got in the way of getting closer. I was new to the relationship thing, and I struggled to deduce what was needed when I messed up or when I had to explain myself. Admittedly, a worrying majority of our problems were caused by me, but never on purpose. Some of my actions had been utterly thoughtless and selfish. What was the word Alec had used to describe me…? Ah, flaky. Harsh but fair? Gods. Thinking on it, if Breandan had kissed someone else, and developed the connection Tomas and I had, I would’ve hunted the girl down and be wearing her eyeballs for earrings, just saying. The thought of my fairy meeting someone in the future who might turn him from me ripped my insides to splinters of ice that cut into all my other organs. It was seriously painful, and that was just the thought of it.

Well, regardless, in this case I had been true to him. I had told Tomas plain as the day I didn’t want to go with him, and so, I didn’t need to justify anything to Breandan. God’s sake, I was the victim here. If he thought for one second, just one, that he was going to guilt me into confessing the disaster we had just avoided was my fault, he could….

“Talk,” I blurted, gasping since the word was wrenched from the bottom of my soul so vehemently. “Please, Breandan.”

“No,” he hissed, jaw clenching. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear you defend him.”

I swallowed hard, sensing his anger was at a low simmer. If I pushed too hard, it might boil over.

It wasn’t fair! This wasn’t my fault, and he had to see that.

“I wasn’t going to….” My tongue-tied and flapped about in my mouth halting a lie I couldn’t finish. I was fully tied by magics, bound only to speak the truth. “Say-so,” I muttered. “We’ll sit here in a horrible, stubborn and uncomfortable silence then. Thank you for finding food.”

He grunted. “We need water.”

I reached out with my senses and found a lake not too far. It was probably the same place he’d gotten the fish. I shrugged. Standing slowly, I was pleased when my head didn’t spin, and my legs were strong under me. “I can get it.” My hands were empty. I wiggled my fingers as I looked around our camp seeing nothing but dirt, leaves and rocks. “Ah, do you have a flask or something?”

Breandan peered at me like I was simple. He sighed and crooked his finger in a come hither motion.

Walking over to him, I wondered how I was supposed to look in this situation. Contrite? What I felt was irritated and grumpy, but not so much at him. Well, maybe a little at him, but more because he had seen me at my worst.

Was he mad at me?

Digging the toe of my boot into the mud, I faked a yawn, and slanted a look down to find Breandan staring at me with an amused expression.