Don't Trust Me

Downhill

I was uncuffed, brought to trial, and released in a painstaking four hours. I didn't hear a word from Robin all morning until we got into the car on the way home.

"I didn't make anything, do you want Wendy's?" He asks.

I nod and lean my head against the window.

I look at him and notice the hesitation in his posture. Is he going to sass-mouth me or some shit, again? Is he going to threaten to abandon me like he did yesterday? 

I grow impatient. 

"Whatever you have to say to me, save it I've had enou-" 

He stops me mid-sentence, "I'm sorry." 

I'm at a loss for words. I'm sure as hell not going to accept that apology right away. Fortunately for me, we stop at the drive-through window before he expects a response.

                                                                                   *********************

3 days later 

I've been staring at the ceiling for the past half hour. After I got home, I didn't know what to do with myself. I've been switching between reading "1984", watching T.V, punching my wall, and staring into space. 

At this point, Robin could just leave me. I don't need him. I don't need anyone. I'll be eighteen in a couple of months. 

I try to get off my bed, but I feel dizzy. When was the last time I ate? Does it matter? I'm not even high right now, but I know I sure as hell am not thinking clearly. Robin's been trying to give me space, but the asshole didn't even have the decency to bring food up to his foster-almost-adult-son. I glance at the clock and then I look at the date on my phone. Shit, three days. 

I'll be starting that stupid "good citizen" class soon, Fuck. Alright, I need to get up, my subconscious tells me. I get up and make my way to the shower.

The sound of the water running is the last thing I hear before I black out. 

*******************

"Son, Son?!" I hear Robin's distant screams.

Faint sounds of  knocking and the jiggling of the doorknob are heard. I'm in such a weird state, I cant move, I can't see. Am I asleep, what is this? Am I dead?  How long have I been here? I'm panicking, but no one seems to hear me. I'm yelling out for Robin, but I'm not getting any response. Is this what hell is like? I'm not religious, but at this second, I swear that the devil is taunting me. He's trying to torture me and watch me suffer in the most unfair way. 

It feels like seconds, maybe, when I'm transported with my state, onto a gurney-like platform, and taken to the hospital. 

"He has a pulse, nurse, insert the I.V." I hear, in what I assume to be the ambulance. 

I'm fading in and out of reality every minute. One moment I can hear everything, and the next, It's like I'm in a deep sleep. 

"It's going to be okay, Clyde." I catch Robin saying. 

I feel a warm embrace mark my forehead. 

"I'm so sorry for everything that I said. I wasn't thinking clearly at all. This is my fault," Robin's sobs are heard, "I promise to be better. I'm sorry. I love you so much, son",  is the last thing I hear before I slip under and my state of consciousness completely diminishes.  

*******************

My eyes fling open, and the light irritates my eyes. A headache, and the worst pain I've ever experienced take over. I blink a couple of times, then take in my surroundings. 

A doctor is standing before me with his mouth mask. He's holding a clipboard and his eyes widen when he looks up at me. Then, his posture relaxes, like this is an everyday occurrence for him. It probably is.

"Where am I? What happened? Where's my dad?"  I'm hyperventilating.

I get up off the tall hospital bed, pull the I.V needle out of my skin, and throw it towards the wall. I'm agitated, scared, and emotionally distressed at the same time. I'm pacing back and forth and I let out an angered scream. My head is KILLING ME. I'm throwing the closest objects toward the unbreakable-glass wall. I feel like strangling someone, as if that will make the pain go away. 

"Nurses, sedate him!" The doctor blocks off the doorway, as he yells. 

Two nurses rush into the glass-walled hospital room. 

Tears stream down my face before the needle touches my skin. My arms and legs are flailing around as the nurses are holding me down from trying to escape. I'm yelling for Robin and my vision slowly blurs. I see the outline of Robin running towards the room before the drugs kick in and I'm put back on the bed. 

I'm readjusted to my earlier position with everything in tact, except for my sanity. Everything is in slow motion and I decide that I'm too drugged up to put up a fight. Sleep takes over and the cold rush of water through the I.V tube, and into the needle, runs through my veins.