My self problems

The doubt

You don't understand you say to do when you don't I can't do anything I'm trying to change. You know that I wish I wasn't so jealous all the time I hate being the way I am it hurts me more and more. I can gently and slowly feel the depression come. I'm in the middle of class trying to be myself but I can't I'm slowly dying on the inside my heart all broken my hand all shaky my eyes almost watery. I'm at the edge of just crying I'm trying to stay up and hope for the best but I can't. I just can't I lost all hope in myself I now have a low self esteem I broken mind and tiny broken heart holding on by a single pure vain. I wish I could go away not temporary but permanently. I can't do anything I've tried it all I've tried day and night. My mind is all messed up you don't believe what I say anymore you just turn me down I've done a lot for you can't you see I'm dying trying and I don't have much time left. You still doubt me no matter what I say.