My self problems

Quiet and painful

It's not now a question can lead to a problem, an unexpected problem. Now I can say anything about anything because I'll get hurt again I've been hurt so many times now I can't even count them all most being forgotten and some still haunting me. I try to forget and forgive but the thing with that is if you forget about it then when it happens again you'll get hurt again but if u remember it and it happens again you can know what not to do and what to do. But most of my problems are disposable and unpleasing I never wanted to have these problems and when I don't start it I get hurt still but why? I didn't do anything I just spoke out against it. Well what's the point now where will this get me later on? Nowhere I guess it's just something I can't control I just have to go through the pain and suffering but later in the morning I'll wait for a text or a simple hello and when that doesn't happen I'll wait for a sorry or somethings at least I can't end something then later act like nothing happened. I just wish for a better me.