Love Anew

Now- The Baby Shower

"Uggggg" that was a strong one I grunted out to no one in particular. I looked down at my pale blue dress, the flowery material was stretched out over my ever expanded stomach. " gracious this little one thinks he's a soccer player" I said in with a light laugh. I looked up to all my friends as I rubbed the spot where my jelly bean had been kicking. Today was my baby shower, a bitter sweet day. As I looked around the room I couldn't help but think how the most important person was missing from the room, that he would be missing from our babies life.

But today was about celebrating the life we created. I giggled as I saw my friends ripping pins off one another after hearing the word baby. I looked up at the chalkboard that had Emerson had put talky marks on representing the votes on if our baby would be a boy or a girl, so far there was 17 votes for girl and 6 for boy. I had decided to wait and be surprised. I always though case and I would find out together when we had kids, plan the room, and name. With out him I decided to wait. In all honesty I hadn't gone a day without crying since I found out he had died and I wasn't really ready to bring our child into the world without him, maybe that's why I was afraid to know what the baby would be.

"Aubrey" I looked up to hearing my name. Emerson is looking at me with concern in her eyes " it's time to open gifts Hun" " let's open presents" I said while clapping my hands. " who's first?" "Me me me" Emerson said. She handed me gift bag full of pink and blue tissue paper then proceeded to lean down and touch my round belly " how's my little neice or nephew doing, auntie em loves you yes she does." Emerson gushed in a baby voice. I laughed "auntie em let me open my gift please" " whoops sorry" she said backing up to give me more room.
I pulled the tissue paper out laughing as it flew out all over the floor. However my laughter was cut short as I caught sight of the gift inside. My hand flew to my mouth as I stifled a strangled sob. " oh em." Inside was hand carved wooden frame with a black finish. The words Always with you inscribed in a curly cursive writing. The picture In the frame was one of my favorites of Cade. He was outside sitting by the lake we would go and have picnics at. His hair reflecting the sun that had started to set. My favorite part though was his smile. It took up his whole face and made this eyes crinkle in happiness. He was telling me about a dream he had, a dream where we had children. He was laughing as he told me about the crazy things they were doing. Later that night he told me he wanted to start trying for a baby if I was ready. I had jumped on him laughing and said" let's start right now." I blushed lightly as I though of the memory, but then remembered the months of trying to no avail. It had been over a year and half since that picture was taken and just before Cade left the last time we had decided to do invitro when he got back. Little did we know then that our little one had began to grow.

I look up remembering all the people gathered around me and hastily wipe away my tears " thank you em, it's truly beautiful" she is looking at me like she is terrified I might break " maybe I should have given that to you at home" she says. " oh nonsense" I exclaim, " who's next?" The shower continued with gift after gift being opened. I had gotten so much and I was grateful how thoughtful my friends were.

By the time we had finished packing up all of the babies gifts and I had driven home I was exhausted. I quickly walked it and greeted Ms. May, mine and Cades lab. We had gotten her right after we got home from our honeymoon. She follows me as I hoist myself up the stairs and promptly fall on my bed. " Ms. May I think pajamas are over rated right now, do you think we just go right to sleep?" I look down as I scratch her head that's laying on my chest " yeap me to! Good night Ms.May." With that I rolled on my side and got comfortable with my boy pillow, quickly I fell into a deep slumber haunted with memories of Cade.