Explosions

4

Quickly, the tan young man in front of me took out his headphones and hood to look me dead in the eyes. My heart plummeted to the ground, I could hear it being squashed against the gravel and it struggling to beat. A coldness ran over my body, mixed with a heat that I hadn't felt for years. My eyes were locked on his, I could feel them trying to move but his held mine captive.

"You, uh, you," his words fell from his mouth as did the baseball as he pushed it closer to me. I looked down at his hand to see that it was shaking, before I could stare at it long enough it was in the pocket of his gym shorts. "Sorry, I dropped it." Suddenly he was squatting, picking up the ball with his large hand and standing straight, handing it to me. With the utmost hesitation, my shaking hand took it from him.

"Um, thanks." I coughed, my voice had been lost from seeing him. I turned away quickly and began to walk towards my house, a strange feeling overcame me as I inched closer to the driveway and as I turned around I saw that he stood watching me. "Can I help you?"

"I always watched you walk home, I always watched you walk away." His head hung low as he stared at his feet, he stood on the sides of them–a nervous tic he had since we were kids.

"I wouldn't have walked away if you didn't do what you did." I bit at him, my blood running colder as I was reminded of what went on between us four years prior.

"You didn't even try, Stella!" He exclaimed, running his hands through his hair. "You didn't even try to forgive me or try to look past it."

"I was gone for a week, and you ended up in bed with some bitch. How do you expect me to forgive you or look past that?" I scoffed, "You took advantage of my kindness, Roman. You took advantage of my ability to forgive."

"You chose to let those go Stella, don't go blaming it on me." Roman scoffed before cracking his knuckles.

"Stella." My dad's firm voice called out behind me, I looked over my shoulder to where he stood, his eyes flooded with worry and anger. "Come inside, we'll watch a movie."

"I'll be in right now, take the boys inside please, they don't need to hear this." I ran my hands through my hair, exhaling loudly. My focus fixed on Roman, the beautiful boy I'd been in love with for the past eight years of my life, and instead of feeling the excitement I usually did I was met with the feeling of regret and resentment. "You're such an insensitive prick, you know that? Not thinking you're the cause of someone's problems."

"I'm not! You lingered on the past and made those for yourself." Roman laughed, and that's when my blood began to boil and before I knew it I was rushing up to push him, but his hands caught my wrist before my palms could even touch his chest. "Don't do something you'll regret." He whispered as he stared into my eyes.

"Too late, I already did you." I spat at him, pulling my wrists from his grip and sprinting home, picking up the boys' toys before deciding to clear my mind with a family movie.

An hour later I was sat on the couch with my sixth beer in hand, laughing at scenes that weren't even that funny. My phone had rang two times during the movie but I didn't bother to answer, or even shut off the ringer. Liza sat beside me, gently stroking my hair, something she'd done to me since I was a kid when I was feeling sad. This time I didn't lean into her like I usually did, I was trying to distance myself from everyone who knew my situation to the fullest. Once again my phone rang and I had just about had it, I took it from my pocket and pressed the green button, not bothering to see who it was.

"Oh my god, what do you want?" I exclaimed in frustration, taking another swig of my beer. "I'm trying to watch a movie with my family, you're being really disruptive." My tone went down to a whisper.