Harrison, an incorrigible youth with pigeon legs and a wild collection of his brothers ripped off penises, stood alone on the beach, gazing over the azure water with his somehow eczema affected eyes. His copper hair rustled lightly in the ocean breeze. He tried to keep himself in his pants despite his impatient excitement as he hummed "Gimme Chocolate" to himself.
(Meanwhile some anime twins that Hannah can't remember the names of were making out)
His thoughts wandered to his days in Fluffy blanket's company. It must have been fate in mortal form that brought them together. He knew from the moment he laid eyes on her that they were meant to be. From then on, they were inseparable. They shared every part of their life with each other. That was how it was to this very day.
Harrison's cerulean orbs spotted Fluffy blanket further down on the beach, closer to the roaring sea. Her lovely milky strands was attractive as ever. Her lack of eyes were turned toward the ocean, hidden from Harrison's sight, but he knew and loved their pure blank hue. She was dressed in her usual everyday clothes. She had a generously curvaceous pale form. "Fluffy blanket," he called, walking towards her.
She turned around. But her expression didn't change. Because it was a fucking blanket.
Harrison smirked. "Good to see you. C'mon." They began their leisurely walk along the ocean's edge.
(More like Harrison just dragged a fucking blanket across a beach WTF)
The blanket was silent - because it was literally an inanimate object - but Harrison took her silence as a start of conversation.
"What have I been doing? The usual, stealing alien legs, cutting of penises to make delicious specal ge." Harrison gave her a self-assured grin. "Other than that? Nothing important."
Harrison assumed her silence to be laughter, and laughed along with her.
"Oh fluffy blanket, why don't my parents love me?"
"Maybe because you 'girlfriend' is a fucking blanket"
"Stop breaking the fourth wall Hannah."
"Soz m8"
Suddenly they were at school, Harrison and Fluffy blanket sporting traditional sailor uniforms even though that's super racist. Harrison walked into his first class, which wasn't with Fluffy blanket unfortunately, but as soon as he walked in Miss Potter stared really hard at him, and he had a seizure.
Because Harrison has sizopehen.
After mopping his shit off the floor, he walked out of the room, and to the canteen, but all the hamburgers were infected with mad cow disease, and he got a cookie instead.
Caolan apparently got a burger, because when he had asked for a cookie the canteen lady had told him "no, but you can have a hamburger."
Caolan probs had sex with all the teachers, because they all seemed to fucking love him.
Except Miss Fuller.
And Mr Bailey.
(Meanwhile Mr Bailey stole the last curried egg sandwich LIKE A LITTLE SHIT)
Harrison met up with Fluffy blanket at their table, but it was covered in severed legs, so they had to sit in their element.
The trash.
They had secks on the bin but the curried egg sandwich got in the way.
The end.
