Requested One-Shots

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Requested: "can you do a one shot of josh comforting tyler when he's feeling really depressed and suicidal. thenks"

Trigger Warnings as described above in the request: There will be talks of anxiety attacks, suicide, suicidal attempts, self-harm (both physical and mental), and mental illnesses. If any of these cause you an amount of uncomfortable and indescribable pain then please do not continue reading. I promise as a writer to include when things are possibly triggers since I do have my own and find it just a common courtesy.

Tyler had been in the bathroom for a while. It was normal for him to spend a while there, if just to sit on the carpeted rug and lean against the wall. Because this was normal, Josh, his best friend, sat on the couch on his phone. There wasn't much Josh was doing; mostly just doodling on his phone apps.

Tyler had taken his phone into the bathroom and was crying. In an effort to keep himself quiet, he turned on the fan.  As the room grew louder he felt his tears grow louder and reached to the sink to turn on the water. Still he felt it was not loud enough to drown out the sounds of his tears.

Drown. Tyler's mind flashed back to when he was younger. He had just written the song Drown, and refused to let anyone read it or hear him sing it. 'What would they think of me?' He had thought nervously. Those were the times he hid his depression. Now he didn't. Millions of music fans knew. They all knew. He began to panic. A voice whispered lies into his mind and soul.

"You'll never be good enough."

                                    "You don't have any friends."

                                                             "Your life isn't worth anything."

                                                                                     "All your music was for nothing - Your fans will die anyway."

                                                                                                                                         "They still hurt themselves."

                                                                                                                                                                      "You should die."

"Its not like anyone would care."

                         "You should turn the bath water on."

                                                    "You're crying too loud."

                                                                     "You don't want to worry Josh, do you?"

                                                                                           "Your family looks at you and is scared. What are you?"
                                                                                                                

    "You should die."

Trembling, he looked up at the sink above him. Tyler realized he had turned on the shower. The water seemed to calm him slightly, but still made him nervous. Using the wall as a crutch, he stood slowly and leaned against the bathroom sink. It was mostly bare. There was only a toothbrush of Josh's, an organized small pouch of Jenna's, and a smaller cup with floss and Tyler's toothbrush in it. Against the wall and far from the mirror was a small cabinet of the needed things. Such as shampoo, a small bottle of conditioner, and Tyler's depression and anxiety medication. Josh kept his medications in the travel bus. He felt it was safer there.

Tyler reached for the shaving razor Jenna kept for when she showered, and he just as quickly pulled his hand away. If she ever found out he had used her razor for self-harm... She would never forgive herself. He didn't want his wife to deal with that grief. He had dealt with that with some other friends. It wasn't a good feeling. And there was nothing else he felt he could do; the bus contained all the shaving razors for the men.

He scratched him arm desperately. He felt like bugs were crawling all over his body and he couldn't do anything to stop them. His head throbbed, the tears that had dried on his cheeks began to fall to the ground. Tyler felt shaky, and his lungs burned as he tried to breathe.

As Josh sat on the couch, he suddenly felt uncomfortable. It was as if the Lord did it on purpose, to warn him of his friend's pain. Running to the bathroom, he knocked on the door.

The knock terrified Tyler.

'Josh knows this pain.'

                            'Yes, but he doesn't care about you.'

               'Josh cares that I am okay.'

                             'Not really. You are annoying and needy.'

'He wants to help.'

Tyler turned to the door and with a shaking hand, turned the knob. Josh stood there, eyes widened, and quickly rushed forward to embrace Tyler in a hug. Josh rubbed his friend's back, trying to comfort him. He didn't know what to say, if there was even anything to say.

"I want to die." Tyler whispered. Josh froze. Not his buddy. Not his Tyjo.

"W-What?" Josh mentally hit himself. Of course he heard what Tyler said. And he didn't truly want him to have to repeat himself. 

Instead of repeating what he said prior, Tyler hugged Josh tighter. "Josh, he won't stop talking to me. H-He won't stop." His voice cracked.

This made Josh mad.

"Tyler Joseph." He gently pushed his friend away, his hands firmly resting on his best friend's shoulders. "You are an amazing person. And to heck what BF thinks. You understand me?! You are NOT YOUR THOUGHTS!" At this point, Josh was yelling.

Tyler had seen Josh angry before, but never to where the yelling was aimed at HIM. He chocked on his tears and looked down at his black converse high-tops.

"We all have our demons, Ty. But you let yours fuel you. You can't afford to ever, EVER give them footholds. That's all they need to ruin you. But you? You gave him a whole room! Tyler, you can't keep feeling this way. You have to beat him. No one can for you."

Tyler's lips trembled at his friend's true words. "I-I know..."

Josh shook his head. "I don't think you do, Tyler. I don't think you understand. I want you to. But I don't think you do."

Tyler nervously brought his hand to his head and ruffled his hair. "I... You're right."

Josh frowned. "You'll be okay, Ty. But you have to honestly believe that. You have to honestly want to stay alive. You have to want to stay here. You. Not anyone else... You."

Tyler walked from the bathroom past his friend and wrote in his song notebook:

                                                                         "I'll be okay. I may stay alive; awake."