(Book #4 of the Best friend's series)
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"Jackson, I can't do this to Nikki," I breath, trying to forget the feeling of his lips on my neck. Every swipe of his tongue on my skin adds another round of sensations through my...
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Days pass by in a blur. Nothing really makes sense to me right now. My mind is in a jumbled mess and I don't know how to clean it.
Jackson has been coming over every day just to see how I'm doing. I doubt it was fun for him because I've been nothing, but mopey all weekend into today which is Wednesday.
I barely remember the other days of the week. Probably because I haven't went to school, but today I am. Today is the day that I may just see the guy that left marks both physically and mentally on me.
Jackson texted me this morning asking me if I needed a ride, but I declined. I can't wait until I turn sixteen in fourteen days. I'll be able to drive myself where and whenever I want.
As I walk downstairs in my bum looking clothes, my mom suddenly appears in front of my face. The same bile that I've been trying to keep down is threatening to come back up.
Nathan's words repeat in my head over and over again, leaving me with a disgusting image of my mother. Something that I can't erase.
"Do you need a ride to school?" She asks, already dressed in her work clothes. Her face is covered with makeup to hide the fact she's very much hung over and maybe still a bit drunk.
"No," I reply dryly, making my way out of the house.
"Brittni! It's really no problem at all," she calls after me, I ignore her. "Would you please let me drive you?"
I turn on my heel, still walking backwards as I look at her.
"Why don't you go and fuck Nathan again? I'm sure he'll take the ride to school that way," I tell her, tears filling my eyes at what I just said.
Without saying another word on either of our parts, I walk down the sidewalk and towards my bus stop.
The pain will never go away.
•••
Nikki is talking in my ear, I can hear her muffled voice, but I can't make out the words. I don't want to know the words.
"I've gotta go," I mumble and move away from her, towards my first hour. Not even literature can break me out of my funk, though. Nothing can.
It's an ongoing feeling that can't be rid of. I wish I could. I want to feel happy again, I want to talk to Nikki about my dates with Nathan, I want to kiss the old him, but I know that's long gone. It's was over when he cheated on me and I slept with my best friends brother. It's all shattered now, and not even guerrilla glue can put it back together.
By the time lunch rolls around, I'm ready to just cry. I haven't seen Nathan yet, but I know he's here. I can feel his presence like a lingering ghost.
It's when I'm walking towards the courtyard -where we eat lunch sometimes - that I see Jackson over by the door to the football field.
