If It Meant Living: Mass Effect 1

12: Choices, Part 2

She ran –

Into a room filled with Geth and Krogan.  She threw them all up in a massive singularity – one that single-handedly sapped her biotic energy almost to zero – and kept running. 

She knew without looking that Garrus and Wrex stayed behind to shoot anything that needed shooting when it finally landed.

She hit the second floor at a full run.  She ran through the hallways and around the corners towards the AA tower as explosions started ringing out.  A powerful wave of déjà vu crashed over her; she kept running.

It wasn’t enough.

A Geth dropship buzzed her on the way to the bomb site.  Faster. 

Ashley broke in over the comm, out breath.  “Kaidan, look out!  There’s a Geth ship headed to your location– ”

“There’s already here – Geth pouring out – ”

She pulled to a full stop.  “Can you hold them off?”  Her voice was calm but insistent.

She could hear him breathing.  “No.  There’s too many…I’m activating the bomb.”

Goddamn fucking shit. Hell.

“Alenko, what the hell are you doing?”

“I’m just making sure this bomb goes off no matter what… It’s done.  Go get Williams and get the hell out of here.”  His voice was remarkably calm, even.  What a soldier.  He was incredible.

Ashley broke in, even more out of breath than before.  “Screw that!” She gasped.  Shepard could hear her gasp.  “We can handle ourselves” – gunfire – “go back and get Alenko!”  What a soldier.  She was incredible.

But they couldn’t handle themselves.  She knew it.  Too many.

In the roughly two seconds she had to make the decision, a thousand thoughts passed through her mind in an orderly procession honed by years of real-life-no-shit combat situations. 

She was so close to Ashley.  Around one more corner, up one more staircase, down one more walkway.  She had almost made it.  Ashley was her friend; she needed to save her.  Wanted with every ounce of her being to save her.

But Ashley was just a soldier.  A damn fine soldier – Shepard couldn't ask for better backing her up.  But she was just a soldier – and there were lots of soldiers. 

Kaidan was a biotic, something still rare and valuable among humans.  He was the primary tech for the Normandy.  Difficult to replace.  He was the superior officer, by several levels.  Had a bright future in the Alliance. 

More important than all of that combined was one simple fact – he was guarding the bomb.  If the Geth killed – she cringed – him they stood a chance of disarming the bomb before it detonated.  She couldn't let that happen.  No matter what else, she couldn’t let that happen.  That bomb had to destroy this abomination.

She made her decision without having to reach any more personal considerations.  To the only consideration that might have mattered in the end, had she let it.

“I’m sorry Ash.  I’m so sorry.”

“I understand Commander.  I don’t regret a thing.”

Oh god.  She would cry.  Later.

A horrifying thought suddenly shoved itself to the front of her mind.  What if Ashley thought she was saving Kaidan because –

“Ash, I swear – ”