My whole life, I wondered how I would die..
Will it be caused by a disease? An accident? Or murder? Or suicide?
Will it be painful or painless?
As a child, I've been near deadly situations many times..
I escaped all..
Now, I know how I'll die..
It's because of suicide..
Funny, how I'm writing this on wattpad while thinking what'll happen if I die..
As if others care..
Do you care?
I hope it won't be the last time I'm writing here..
That feeling that you want to stay, but the want isn't really enough to make you stay..
That's what I'm feeling right now..
I want to stay to see them suffer because of me..
But the pain I'm feeling is slowly killing me inside, that it makes me think of killing myself...
You must be wondering, why am I writing it here...
It's because I can't express it to others..
Here, this letter is harmless..
But when I say these words aloud, it's destructive..
I'm always hurt.. I'm always the one being hurt..
I know how painful it is..
That's why I don't want to hurt others..
I'm suicidal? Yes, there's no point in denying it...
Many times I've hurt myself, without the intention of really killing myself..
I just chose to feel the pain physically rather than feeling it kill me emotionally and mentally..
Yeah, I know, I'm just ranting here..
Just wanna say thank you for reading this.. And for reading my other works..
And I'm sorry, if I hadn't met your expectations..
This is me, Astrid Dayne.. And hopefully, this isn't my time yet..
