Some things aren't meant to be (TaeNy)

Calm before the Storm (TaeYeon POV)

    8 years.

    8 painful and yet, blissful years.

   That was how long TaeYeon had known her best friend and that was also how long she had been hopelessly in love with the latter. Yes, that's right. Kim TaeYeon, the girl who could have everything, was and is still in love with her Best Friend who also happened to be the same gender and a member of the group she led, Hwang Tiffany.

   TaeYeon never knew she would swing to the other side but something about Tiffany made her heart plump like there's no tomorrow. Being near her could easily make her worst day into the best, her frowns into a smile and her worries... into nothingless. Simply, being with her would make her days feel less stressful and she knows quite well just how hard and tiring her job was.

   Being a member of Girl's Generation, a leader to top that, was no easy task. She almost have no time for herself and the other 8 girls. They could rarely see each other due to their hectic scedules and even if they did managed to take a break, most of them would rather rest than be in each other's company. Don't get TaeYeon wrong. She loved her members like her own sister but some times, her health had to come first. In her career, being sick would just be bothersome and tiring for her, especially since she was a sickly person by nature.

   TaeYeon was a quiet person but some times, her dorky self would surface, making all her members fuse over her. Like what her members all say, she was a secretive person. She had too many worries in her life for a twenty-three year old lady and she felt that, it was her right as a leader to bear all the concerns to herself. She could easily lean on her members but she didn't. She'd rather bear her worries alone than to burden the others. That's just how she was.

   And when TaeYeon fell for the eye-smile of a certain girl, she kept it all to herself. Love, didn't come easy to her as she'd once thought. Loving someone who probably didn't love you back and of the same gender really took a toll on her. She tried to control herself; tried to hide her true feelings and even denied it to the point that people started to notice her frowns and deep thoughts when she was out in the public. That, of course, went unnoticed by TaeYeon but the other 8 members noticed it especially, her closest member.

   Tiffany even confronted her once, asking what was wrong with her or if there was something bothering the Kid Leader. Of course, TaeYeon couldn't exactly tell Tiffany her true concern and that it is because of her that she was acting that way. Instead, TaeYeon simply shook her head and replied she was just tired. And yes, Tiffany believed her. After all, Tiffany knows just how tiring their jobs were so she simply accepted her answer but that still didn't stop Tiffany from worrying over the midget.

   TaeYeon knows she was a coward. Maybe she was but confessing to a certain girl never crossed her mind. How could she confess when all she knows that Tiffany only see her as a best friend material, not lover and will the public accept it even? (Locksmiths: YES!!!) She didn't want to burden Tiffany with her one-sided love and be concerned about her even more, knowing that Tiffany couldn't love her back. Knowing Tiffany, she would probably lie to herself and will try to date her out of concern. TaeYeon didn't want that. She couldn't do that to the person who stole her heart. No, she would never do that to her. Sometimes, watching afar was enough for her. Other times, she would want them to be more than just friends.

   She tried to control herself, she really did. Her mind and heart told her to behave but some times, her body would have a mind of its own. During the concerts, live performances and even variety shows, her eyes would always wonder to a certain body and yes, her hands would simply find its way to that perfect bottom. At first, when she did it, she thought she would be scold by Tiffany for touching her in the public but she didn't. Instead, Tiffany would give her a smile that would melt her heart and playfully shrug it off. That made her gather her courage and touch her more in the public but once they're alone, she never did. She simply couldn't bring herself to do it.

   Tiffany has a sexy butt, TaeYeon once joked when people asked her whether she was a pervert and would simply laugh it off, pretending not to be bothered by her new nickname. That's right, because of her continuous touches, the public (especially, sones) gave her the nickname ByunTaeng or ByunTae. She wasn't flattered by her new nickname. Even her members teased her about it but TaeYeon knows that she was only Byun over a certain person but to hide that fact, she would stare and touch the other members equally.

   Once, in a radio, the MC would talk about TaeYeon's and Tiffany's closeness. Her smile grew more when Tiffany commented how Every member treated her well, but TaeYeon treated her the best and how close they are ever since they'd met. To make light of things, TaeYeon joked that Tiffany was her wife so it was just right to treat her the way she should. In TaeYeon's mind and heart, she knows that no one would replace her wife and if the time comes when she had to let her go, she will do it without a fight. No question about it. Why bother fighting for what you want when you know there's no way it'll end up yours?

   TaeYeon had never fought for anything she wanted in her life. When she chose to be a singer, her family gave her their support. When she chose to debut as a group, she was simply accepted into the group. When she had things she wanted to buy, she could easily buy them as she was rich enough. When she wanted to quit as a leader, everyone was against it and she didn't push further. (Sones: Thank God!!! What will we do without our Byun Leader) Everything came easy for her. Maybe, not too easy. She could still feel shivers when she recalled her trainee days. It was one of the hardship she had to overcome to be where she is now, as the Leader of one of the best if not the best, girl group in Korea.

   Her trainee days... were harder than what people thought. She had to wake up early in the morning, dance all day, practice her vocal range until her throat became dry and sore, and sleep late everyday. That was her daily routine and it was too much for the fifteen year old girl to go through. At one point, she almost ran away from everything and wanted to give up but Tiffany was there for her. From their first encounter till now, Tiffany was there beside her and had always been. Maybe it was Tiffany's concern and kind nature over her that made her fall in love with her. Maybe, it was the way she smiled - making her eyes disappear, or the way she talked so fast that she shuttered, or maybe, it was because she was Tiffany. We don't need a reason to love someone, it's as simple as that.

   To TaeYeon, loving Tiffany was the best thing she had ever done and even if the feelings might not be mutual, she would never regret loving that american girl. But at some point, TaeYeon realized how some people can stay in her heart but not in her life. And maybe, once they'd retire, Tiffany would no longer be hers. Correction, Tiffany was never hers to begin with.

    After all, some things weren't meant to be yours. And Tiffany was one of them.