Stuck In The Moment...

" I wish we had another time..."

I don't know what got into me. I don't know why I did it. So don't ask me why, cause I won't have an answer for you. All I know is that today, December 13th 2013, is the day where I made the biggest mistake of my life...

*Flashback*

"Harry, have you seen my hair gel?"

I heard Louis yell from upstairs. We were supposed to be at rehearsal ten minutes ago, but of course Louis always has to look "the best he can" for the press. "Louis, it's just rehearsal! We need to go, we're already ten minutes late!" I yell back. Two minutes later, Louis comes down the stairs wearing skin tight jeans, a red button down shirt, and his natural hair, with no gel. "Ready princess?" I said sarcastically. "Oh shut it styles, it's not my fault I like to look-" "to look the best you can so no one will get a bad picture I know" I said, getting my shoes on. "Exactly, you got a problem with that?" He sounded angry "Of course not Boo-" "Good then let's go" He bolted out the door. "Well, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed eh?" I said, getting in the car. "I'm not in the mood for your terrible jokes, Harry" he muttered. "They are not terrible, I'm trying to cheer you up" "And you're not doing a good job so stop it!" "What if I don't wanna stop?" "Then go ruin someone else's day would ya!" He shouted, obviously angry with me. Now, I really wanna know what's up with him. Although I know that's going to be a difficult task, because in the 2 years I've known Louis and the 6 months I've been dating him, I've noticed that Louis's not really an open person. "Fine, excuse me for trying to be a good boyfriend" I said, hurt. He sighed "Harry I didn't mean-" "Yeah whatever" The rest of the ride was silent.

"C'mon you guys can do better then that! Stay on beat!" This is what we've been hearing for the past 4 hours. At first, I was really excited to be performing at the Grammys. This was supposed to be "the best performance of our lives" according to Niall, although right now I'd say I'm ready to beat the hell out of management. I looked over at the other boys with tired eyes. They all looked exhausted. Louis gave me a small smile which I didn't return. He didn't deserve it. It was Niall's turn to sing and I could tell he didn't look happy about it. "You'll never love-" "STOP! STOP RIGHT NOW!!" I heard Marcus, the head producer, yell. "Niall, what do you think you're doing!?" "Um..." He trailed off. "Exactly! You weren't supposed to come in that late! See this is why I don't work with amateurs because-" "HEY!" Someone yelled. It took a second for me to realize that I was one who said it. "Who do you think you are? You can't boss us around! Niall was doing a great job before you cut in and ruined everything" I finished yelling, my face felt red. "And who says I can't? You've seemed to listen to me before, especially about our little "secret" He smiled evilly "We wouldn't want that to get out now would we?" I heard Louis gasp, and turned around to see tears swelling up in his eyes. I knew he was always sensitive about our relationship. I for one could care less about what people thought about me, but with Louis, it's different. He lets the little things get to him. That's part of the reason we kept our relationship a secret. The other part was Simon Cowell. It was late June when Louis and I finally got the confidence to talk to him about coming out. Little did we know, that our loving Uncle Simon didn't really agree with gays. "Unacceptable" His deep voice was firm. "But Si-" Louis tried "NO!" I flinched "This kind of behavior is not welcomed here, boys. Do you know how many fans you'll lose? Do you know what this will do to the band? Everyone else will think Liam, Niall, and Zayn are faggots too! Not only that, but I can't have two gay guys in the most popular band in the WORLD be in a freaking relationship with each other because THAT'S NOT HOW THINGS WORK IN THE REAL WORLD! So you better wake up and realize that this will NEVER happen!!" From that moment on, I took Simon off my list of inspiring people. There is no doubt he was a homophobic.

Now, Marcus was different. I knew he would tell everyone if he had to. He's just that powerful and we can't do anything about it. I would be just fine with this, knowing that Simon doesn't have any say in it would be great. Although, then there's Louis. And the story starts all over. "You wouldn't" I say through gritted teeth to Marcus. He snickered "Harry, you and I both know very well that I would in a heartbeat" "You little-" I started charging towards him ready to punch him. "HARRY!" Liam called, holding me back. I let go and then I was off. I didn't exactly know where I was going. I just needed to get away. Away from Marcus. Away from Simon. Away from the stress. Away from the rumors. Just Away...