Song of the chapter: Circus Girl- Mindy Gledhill. Start playing... RIGHT NOW.
*_*
"I'd travel near, travel far
If I could just be where you are
We'd have a show
Like performers living life on the go
And I'd tame bears and tigers
Just as long as I could
Walk on a wire, jump through a fire for you
Hang from my knees on a trapeze while you
Make me spin
Yes, you make me twirl
Like a circus girl
From overseas, we'd acquire the most bizarre oddities
And charge quite the fee for the people
Who will flock just to see
I wonder what they'd pay
To see my heart on display
Walk on a wire, jump through a fire for you
Hang from my knees on a trapeze while you
Make me spin
Yes, you make me twirl
Like a circus girl
Maybe I'm too blind to see that
I am just the clown who follows you
Around and 'round and 'round but
Walk on a wire, jump through a fire for you
Hang from my knees on a trapeze while you
Make me spin
Yes, you make me twirl
Like a circus girl," I sang with a smile to the people who had crowded around. The whole song I was thinking about two people and two people only. Jack and Finn.
And the song before that, I also thought about Jack and Finn.
And the song before that.
And the song before that.
They were the only people on my mind.
It's as if everything else didn't matter anymore, and the whole universe was just three things. Jack, Finn, and me.
The problem was that I couldn't have both of them.
But I forced that thought away whenever it crept into my mind, not wanting to have to deal with that yet.
The people around me burst into applause and, beside me, Zeus barked happily, breaking me out of my reverie. Mothers, Fathers, kids, and young couples on the streets of London had all stopped to watch me and I was incredibly grateful, and plenty of them threw money in the guitar case in front of me. I thanked each of them genuinely with a smile, and some even stopped to tell me how good my performance was. After most of the people had cleared, I patted Zeus on the head, and he barked back, causing me to giggle.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a bill float into the guitar case in front of me. Without looking up, I eyed the bill to see a twenty-pound note. In careful handwriting, I saw "coffee?" written on the top, right hand corner.
"You know you never cease to amaze me, Elizabeth Stark," a familiar voice spoke, and I couldn't fight back a smile.
"It's what I do, Finnegan Harries," I beamed up at him.
"You have time to get some coffee?" he smiled.
"I do indeed. I thought you had super confidential meetings this morning?" I questioned.
"Jack told you huh?" he laughed, "well they're all done with now."
"Good, because I want you all to myself," I stood up and hugged him. His embrace was familiar and comforting.
"Are you alright?" he asked into my shoulder, not breaking the hug, his voice muffled.
"I'm getting there," I laughed, rather than the alternative of crying.
We broke the embrace and he started to help me clean up my stuff.
"514 pounds!" he exclaimed, "how long have you been out here?"
"About 2 and a half hours. Yesterday I was out here for 4 and I made double of that," I proudly stated.
"Amazing," he muttered.
"It pays the bills," I shrugged.
"You know the average street performer makes nothing even close to this, right?"
"Some of them do," I point out and strap my guitar case closed.
"Only the really good ones."
My cheeks turned a light shade of pink. I usually have no problem talking about my music achievements, but Finn's flattery really means the world.
He turns to face me and puts his hand in mine.
"You're extraordianary, Elizabeth," he said sincerely, looking into my eyes.
"Thank you, Finn," I smiled and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
We walked together to the Starbucks on the corner of the street, but before we made it, we were stopped by two girls who looked around 16. One was wearing a yellow accented tribal mini skirt that hardly covered her butt, with a white, long sleeved chiffon shirt tucked into it and the other was wearing an outfit similar to it, but with different colors. One was tall, blonde, with flawless skin, and the other was shorter, stick thin, brunette, with perfect makeup. I instantly didn't like them.
"Oh my gosh! Hi Finn! Hi Beth! I love your channels! Could we get a picture?" the brunette said with a smile. Great, perfectly straight, white teeth. What else is perfect about her?
"Sure!" Finn beamed back at them. She handed the camera to me and they took a picture with Finn, and then she gave the camera to Finn and they got in a shot with me. I plastered on a fake smile and tried to act cheery, although they were really getting on my nerves with their perfection.
When the pictures were done, the blonde one asked a question that made me dislike her even more, which I didn't think was possible.
"I thought you were dating Jack?" she stated in disbelief.
"No, she's dating Finn," the brunette told her.
"No, I saw pictures of her with Jack," the blonde rebutted.
"No, Cassandra, she's obviously on a date with Finn."
"Are you dating both of them at the same time?" Cassandra gasped.
This could not get any more awkward.
Finn and I both awkwardly laughed.
"Well it was nice seeing you guys. We'll be going," Finn said politely, though you could hear the trace of uncomfort in his voice.
We walked around them and into the Starbucks, but as we were walking in, I could hear them exchange words such as, "Slut" and "Whore" and other words that I do not like to say.
We ordered our drinks and sat down at a booth in the corner of the shop.
I tried not to let it show that they had gotten to me, because the truth is, I felt like a slut. There was no denying that I was seeing both the twins at the same time and I had feelings for the both of them... at the same time. How could that not get to me?
"Ugh, did you see them? They were so perfect," I sighed.
"Perfect? They were extremely rude!" Finn said angrily, though I knew the anger was not towards me, but towards them.
"But don't you think they just looked perfect? Their outfits were completely Tumblr worthy, their hair and makeup looked like it was done professionally, their features were perfect, and they were stick thin. Looks wise, they were perfect," I sighed and drank my frappachino. The number of warm drinks that I had drunken that morning was continually increasing.
"I didn't even notice," Finn admitted.
"Oh come on, you mean to say that you didn't think they were pretty? The thought didn't even cross your mind?" I asked in disbelief.
"Not really, no."
"But it was like Tumblr threw up on them!" I laughed.
"I guess I just don't notice any other girls but you anymore," he shrugged.
"You're such a cheeseball," I chuckled, while stirring my drink with the teeny coffee straw.
"You love it," he smiled. And I did love it. A bit too much, actually.
"So, how are you feeling? Better than yesterday? I wish I could've stayed with you, but I had to be fair and let Jack have his turn."
"I'm feeling alright, I think I just needed sometime to calm down. I just hope that you guys don't think of me any differently," I sipped my drink.
"Not possible," he stated, unnerved.
"How so?"
"That was kind of a big deal for you to tell us what you told us and you trusted us with that information, which only made us feel closer to you," he informed me.
"Hmm. I guess," I sighed.
We drank our coffees and I tried not to sigh at how adorable Finn looked today.
He was wearing a simple grey long sleeved shirt with black skinny jeans and black converse, and his hair was slightly messy, turning me on even more.
"What did Jack and you talk about? Are you planning anything? I've noticed that you haven't gone on any life-altering trips in quite awhile," I smiled and he chuckled.
"As a matter of fact, we were planning some life-altering trips."
"Where are you going?" I asked curiously.
He simply shook his head and motioned his fingers across his lips, like he was zipping them up.
"Ah, I see. Super confidential stuff," I laughed.
"Not really," he laughed, "we don't really have the details worked out for ourselves, but I'll surprise you sometime."
"I'll get it out of you," I grinned.
"Have you ever gone anywhere out of the country?" Finn asked me, genuinely interested.
"Never," I shook my head, "I've only been here and Cheshire. It's always been my dream to go somewhere though. Anywhere."
"If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?" he questioned.
"Probably Paris," I answered right away, without even thinking about it.
"Why?" he asked.
"Because it's gorgeous, romantic, historical, I speak fluent French, and there's a Disneyland there, and I've never been to one before."
"You speak fluent French?" he questioned, obviously surprised.
I nodded. "And Italian."
"When did you learn that?" he exclaimed.
"This photographic memory has got to have something to do," I laughed and pointed to my head, "and I had a lot of free time during high school."
"Incredible," he murmured, looking straight into my eyes,
"You know, Finn, you're like living my dream," I said.
"How?" he asked, his eyes sparkling with curiosity and sincerity.
"You travel the world. You've been so many places and I've been stuck here," I sighed.
"Why haven't you ever left? You've been on your own for forever, yet you have always stayed close to home. Why is that?" he asked.
"I didn't want to be alone. Before I moved here, I'd been alone since I was a kid. I didn't have any friends who would want to go somewhere with me. So even if I did leave and go somewhere, I'd still be alone. And I was just tired of being alone all the time," I shrugged, trying to stay nonchalant.
"Well now you have tons of people to travel wi- wait. Why have you been alone since you were a kid?" he asked after comprehending what I had accidentally revealed.
I bit my lip.
"There's more to your story, isn't there?" he mumbled softly while grabbing my hand on top of the table.
I proceeded to tell him exactly what I had told Jack the night before. As I told him, he stayed quiet and never looked away. He looked into my eyes the whole time, which was comforting, but at the same time, it made it so much harder. I could see in his eyes that telling him about my past made him hurt for me, and it was hard to see that.
After I had finished, he sat silent for a few moments, while he thought carefully of what to say.
"You know Elizabeth, it hurts me so much to know about all you've been through, and I wish you didn't have to feel so alone, but at the same time, if all of this hadn't of happened, then you wouldn't be who you are today. And I happen to like who you are today, so, I'm extremely glad you didn't give up," he said so sincerely that it made my heart hurt.
I smiled back at him and leaned over so I could kiss him over the table.
It was a short and sincere kiss, because we were in public, but it meant the absolute world to me to know that he was there for me.
He broke off and smiled.
"Let's go do something fun," he smiled mischievously.
*_*
"Why did you call us here?" Zoe asked as she walked up to Finn's house with Joe, Alfie, Caspar, and Marcus.
"We have gathered you here today... to help us prank Dan Howell," Finn said professionally. Everyone laughed and got really excited.
"What are we going to do?" Joe questioned.
"That's why we called you," I filled them in.
"I have an idea," Joe said suspiciously, and when he told us, we all grinned and went to get the supplies.
*_*
We all stand back and admire our work.
"Did we really just cover every inch of Dan's room with pictures of Nicholas Cage's derp face?" I wondered aloud.
"Yeah," Finn laughed.
I'm not kidding when I say every inch of Dan's room is covered. I mean EVERY INCH. We even intricately wrapped a stapler with a picture of Nicholas Cage.
"Wait! We're not finished yet!" Caspar said and rushed over to Dan's IMac computer. He set the wallpaper of his desktop as Nicholas Cage, he set his twitter icon and banner to be Nicholas Cage, and he changed his facebook banner and profile picture as Nicholas Cage. Last but not least, he taped a small copy of the picture to the bottom of his mouse so you couldn't use it.
"You're evil, Caspar," Marcus laughed.
"I've got another idea!" I exclaimed and grabbed a picture of Nicholas Cage as I walked into Dan's bathroom, and I taped it under the toilet seat lid so he'd have a little.... surprise when he next used it.
"We should do one in the microwave!" Zoe said and soon everyone was running about his apartment, choosing the funniest places to tape the pictures.
Then, we took the eggs in his fridge, melted some chocolate, and covered them with tinfoil so they looked like plain chocolate. We added a note in the bowl that read:
Dan
YOU'VE BEEN CAGED.
We feel sorry for pranking you so hard. Here are some chocolate treats to make you feel better:)
Love,
Finn, Beth, Caspar, Marcus, Zoe, and Alfie
We finished it off by seran wrapping his bedroom door, adding temporary pink hair dye into his shampoo, and setting GoPro cameras in all the rooms so we could tape his reaction.
I could not wait to see it.
I pulled out my phone and sent out a tweet to Dan.
@Beth_Stark:
@Danisnotonfire you've been caged....;)
*_*
"No no no no no no no no no NO!" Finn said once the white ball landed in the pocket.
"YES!" I exclaimed and fished the ball out of its pocket.
If you ever need someone to help cheer you up, Finn is your guy.
First, we got coffee. Then, we pranked Dan, and now we're playing pool at his house while his parents are out.
I always thought that Jack was the funnier one and Finn was the sweet sensitive one, but while that was true, Finn sure did know how to have fun, and he turned out to be quite the jokester.
"Aww you're winning now!" he whined.
"Cause I'm a boss!" I laughed and set up for my next shot. I aimed, bent over to check it, and hit the white ball hard enough to send a green ball and a yellow ball into a corner pocket.
"What?! How?!" Finn exclaimed.
"You wish you had my skills," I joked while setting up for a different shot. This time I didn't have a good angle, and I felt bad for Finn, so I didn't get a ball in. Finn did a little happy dance and set up to hit his ball. He hit the ball and it was sent in the opposite direction of the ball he was trying to hit.
He pouted as I smirked and set up again for my last ball.
2 hits later, I won the game.
"I let you win that game," he pointed out.
"Oh really Finnegan? I think you're just jealous of my mad pool skills," I grinned and walked closer to him.
"Definitely not," he smiled smugly.
"How about a kiss for the winner?" I flirted.
Where did THAT come from?
"Oh, alright," Finn chuckled and leaned in.
Our lips were barely touching when we heard a door slam, indicating someone was home.
"Finny? Are you home?" his mother shouted from the hallway next to us.
Finn pulled away and chuckled.
"Yeah, mum, we're right here," Finn said.
"Finny, how many times today have I asked you to put away your laundr- oh! You must be Beth! I've heard so much about you! It's so nice to meet you!" his mum smiled and pulled me in for a hug. I then recalled Finn telling me awhile ago that his mom was a hugger, and it was evident and comforting.
"Good things I hope," I smiled.
"Only good things," she assured me, "you're even lovelier than Finny described, and he described you remarkably well!"
"Mum!" Finn moaned and blushed the same color that I was.
"Thank you, Mrs. Harries," I chuckled.
"Oh, call me Rebecca! I'm going to go hit the hay, but you two have fun! But Finn, for goodness sake, put away your laundry!" she laughed we joined in.
"Sure thing mum," he laughed and gave her a kiss on the cheek before she left the room.
"Your mum is super awesome," I told him after she was gone.
"How do you think I got this awesome?" he remarked with a grin. I rolled my eyes and playfully hit him on the shoulder.
"How about you go put that laundry away, Finnegan," I laughed.
He grabbed a basket of clothes from the laundry room and then we walked up to his room. I jumped on his bed and watched him while he put away his things. We talked about tonight and of the prank on Dan, and then the conversation turned more serious when Finn asked me about what I was doing on Halloween, which happened to be four days away.
"I don't know. I'll probably stay home like I've done every year," I shrugged.
"I remember when I used to go trick or treating with Jack. Those were the days," he smiled and shook his head, obviously thinking about the memories.
"I've never gone trick or treating before," I admitted.
"Wait, what? No way. Never in your life?"
"Never."
"Oh my gosh! This calls for drastic measures. Get a costume together for Saturday because we are going trick or treating," Finn told me.
"Are you serious?" I asked excitedly.
"Um yeah. We'll get everyone in on it and you can make a video. It's like killing two birds with one stone."
"Cool I'm in," I laughed.
"What are you going to be?"
"That's for me to know and for you to find out," I smiled.
"Whatever," he said and jumped on the bed next to me. We just sat across from each other, cross legged, looking at each other, neither of us breaking each other's gaze.
"You know, Finn, you did a fantastic job on distracting me from reality today. I had an incredible time," I truthfully told him.
"I did too. Whenever you need a distraction, or just a fun time, know that I'll always be here for you," he replied solemnly, which made me smile. He could not be any more perfect.
"Do you want to see something really cool?" Finn asked.
*_*
"I am so going to fall," I said nervously.
"Oh you will not. Get up here you baby," he laughed and helped me onto the roof from his balcony.
"Come here," he gestured towards him. I laid down next to him and laid my head on his shoulder as we looked at the stars.
"It's beautiful," I muttered. The stars were so clear from up there. There were no trees blocking them and nothing in our way of seeing millions and millions of stars above us.
"It is," Finn agreed.
"Do you come up here a lot?" I asked him in a soft voice.
"Almost every day. This is the place where I can think the best," he admitted.
"Does Jack ever come up here with you?"
"He's been up here a couple times, but it's more my thing, I think," he answered.
"My mum taught me some constellations, and no matter where I go, every night, I can see them. I think it's good for me to have something that never changes for me," he said, though his mind seemed pre-occupied.
I lifted my head from his shoulders and caught a good glimpse of him in the moonlight. I could see his chest rise and fall slightly with every coming breath. I could see his flawless features, which seemed heightened in this light. His eyes were closed, as if he was taking in the moment. I memorized his features; the way his lips were shaped, the curve of his nose, and I couldn't shake away the thought that he's absolutely stunning.
He must've felt me staring and opened his eyes to find me looking at him and I blushed and looked back up at the stars.
"You're adorable when you're embarrassed, just so you know," he chuckled lightly and I blushed even more. It's a good thing it was dark.
Above us, shooting star raced across the sky.
"Did you see that?" I asked him and he nodded.
"Make a wish! Hurry!" I said. I scrunched my eyes closed and began to think of my wish.
I wish that I can love either Jack or Finn without losing a friend in the end.
Like THAT'S going to happen.
I opened my eyes to find Finn laughing quietly at me.
"What?" I asked, slightly embarrassed.
"You look cute when you make wishes," he pointed out.
"Ha ha Finnegan, but you were supposed to be making your own wish, not looking at me making my wish," I pointed out.
"But I did make a wish," he said.
"What did you wish for?" I asked curiously.
"Aren't I not allowed to tell you?" he teased.
"You can only tell one person," I told him the rule that I always used.
"I think you know what I wished for," he said softly.
"Tell me anyways," I smiled.
"I wished that you would pick me," he said quietly, while looking straight into my eyes.
His lips lingered dangerously close to mine.
He took the lead of closing the distance between us as his lips crashed against mine.
The kiss was slow and laced with love. I loved how his hot breath tickled my cheeks and his his long eyelashes would brush against my cheeks. I loved this.
One hand of mine was keeping me upright on the slanted roof and the other hand was running through his hair, while he had one hand cupping my chin and the other on my back.
He pulled away and looked into my eyes, and I could tell that something was off.
"Elizabeth, I...." he trailed off nervously.
"What?" I coaxed in a soft voice.
"I..I.. lo- really like you a lot," he stuttered, changing the sentence after he'd already said half of it.
"I like you a lot too. Probably more than I should," I whispered back.
*_*
AWWWWW THAT WAS ADORABLE.
But why was Finny acting so weird after the kiss?...
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Sorry this chapter took so long! It wasn't exactly the most exciting one to write or read, but I'm pacing everything and making sure they hang out a lot before... OTHER feelings are addressed.
hehe.
There are good things coming up:)
ANYWHO,
This chapter MIGHT'VE come faster if it had gotten more votes, but it didn't....so.. THIS WEEK REMEMBER TO VOTE AND COMMENT A LOT AND THE UPDATE WILL COME FASTER!! I PROMISE:)
Comment who you ship! Beth and Jack or Beth and Finn?
Love you all! Thanks for 800 reads, you guys are incredible!
Much love,
Hannalizzy
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
YOU ARE READING
Even If. {A Jacksgap Fanfiction}
Fanfiction"You'd love me? Even if it's not you who I choose?" I whispered to him. "Even if," he swore. *_*
