I took in a sharp breath as my breathing became uneven, fast and shaky.
"Harry..." I whimpered, "no, stop please..." A tear escaped my eye. As much as I wanted it, and how good it made me feel, I knew it was wrong. Me and Harry had just got together. And even that was weirdly fast, everything was going too fast...
His hand slipped out.
"Why Lou?" he looked down with disappointment. I knew he was keen, which felt weird, but I couldn't let him do this.
"It's too fast Harry. I want to get to know you. I have barely spoke to you, I only sat next to you in one lesson, and we barely spoke. Except when you talked about detention or beating someone up," I wanted Harry to still like me. I didn't want to put him off.
"It's ok babe, I'm sorry. I've just waited for this for a long time, and I'm making things go too fast," Harry mumbled moving accross to the other side of the couch. A long time? Had he wanted me for a long time? Why didn't he say!
"Why didn't you say if you liked me? I've liked you for 2 years..." Harry blushed as I finished speaking.
"It's been so hard for me, I'm meant to be the 'girl' magnet, but when I started to find you attractive I tried to push it to the back of my head. Like those thoughts weren't there. I started dating lots of girls, this made me popular, but none of them made me happy. My friends are extreme homophobes, I didn't want to lose them, but I didn't want to lose you..." Harry trailed off, tears filling his eyes.
I slid my arm around him, pulling him close to my chest and pulling the blanket back over us. I rested my head on his, tangling my fingers in his curls.
"I had no one to battle with, I have no friends, and I don't tell my family anything, but I'm sure they'd accept it. The person who I couldn't fight was myself, telling myself I wasn't normal, that I am attracted to boys not girls and that I will never have the perfect happy family. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to come to terms with..." Both of us now in tears layed down on the couch beside each other.
