I Never Thought It Would Hurt Like This (Larry One Shot)

I never thought it would hurt like this.

I expected it to happen one day but never did I imagine it would hurt this much.

I never thought it would feel like this, like my very being had ceased to exist.

The reason for my every breath was gone...not taken but left willingly. Walked away from me without a second glance. Walked away from me, not thinking of how the simple action had torn me apart.

From the moment he said "I'm yours" I was preparing for this day. The day where my life fell apart, my heart broke and my love left me.

Not my life, no, just my heart. I would still see him everyday, see those ocean blue eyes, framed by long, thick lashes. See those lips which made my heart flutter uncontrollably when they were pressed to mine. See that soft, light hair that I could never run my fingers through again.

I never really expected him to stay. Or at least, that's what I tell myself. I say how it was coming all along, I knew what I had signed up for. But this...this was much more. More than simply stringing me along.

He promised he would look after me, always be there. He promised he would always love me.

He lied.

We were supposed to be there for each other. Support each other through the difficult times, go through it together. Stick through it all, love and care through thick and thin.

He didn't.

He cared to much about what other think, what others say. But I didn't. I loved him to much to care about anyone else.

Every song written for him. Every song trying somehow, to explain to him what he meant. Every word ever sang, meant for him. For his ears to hear of my love. Not meant to simply float away, neglected.

He seemed to instantly forget our days together. The rainy days where we cuddled and watched movies. The beautiful days where we walked hand in hand, smiling and laughing. Simply enjoying each other. The hard days when I held him while he cried. The days when he wanted to give up and I wouldn't let him.

But now he has.

He's given up on us, on me. He's given up on the inside jokes, the secret smiles and the sweet nothings whispered to one another. He's given up on the romantic dates and long nights. He's given up on our love.

I thought he cared about me. I thought he truly loved me, then again what is there to love?

Overly curly hair. Obnoxiously tall and lanky. Too big hands. Weird nose. Boring personality. Bad jokes. Terrible voice. Big, green eyes. Long torso. Skinny legs. Annoying laugh. Talk to slowly. Too uptight. Thin lips. Stupid tattoos.

The list of flaws in endless.

And those stupid tattoos...every one for him.

The butterflies I got in my stomach every time I saw him. The matching sparrows. The quote to his quotation marks. The lock to his key. The cages to his birds. The ship to his compass. The first word he said to me...Hi!...and the heart.

Now my heart, left and forgotten. Left bleeding without him. He never really cared. I was just a distraction, something to use when he was bored. Never to be a commitment or long term arrangement. Practically a pet...or a toy.

A toy to be discarded when he was done with me. A toy to be thrown away when he'd abused it. And abuse me he did.

I never thought it would hurt like this.

I never thought it would hurt so much when he left...when Louis Tomlinson moved on.

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So that was just something small I felt like writing...I WROTE THIS LONG BEAUTIFUL THING AND ACCIDENTALLY DELETED IT AND CRIED AND WANTED TO KILL MY IPAD BECAUSE IT WAS SO PERFECT AND HEART WRENCHING THEN I HAD TO REWRITE IT AND THIS IS THE RESULT. I suppose it isn't terrible...but the first was amazing... Sigh. I'm seriously so frustrated I don't even know what to say. Grrr... I hope someone likes this :)

Vote and comment if you want tooooo :)

-Kayla xx