Broken Promise

Chapter One

 Kaede was numb. She knew that one by one, the guests were leaving- her late husband’s comrades, retainers, and others but to her none of them had faces. One would come up, offer his condolences, bow, offer incense but she heard nothing. She knew the bells had been tolling for a while, that the priest recited sutras, but she couldn’t be sure of what she felt. Perhaps this wasn’t real. It wasn’t happening. Shingen couldn’t be dead. He couldn’t leave her and their child alone. He wouldn’t, right? Shingen was simply delaying his return as a prank. There was no way he could be lying in that pyre. He wouldn’t leave her to raise this child by herself.

“Lady Takeda,” said a low, unsteady voice.

Her eyes met Yukimura’s. His were bloodshot and teary, unlike hers. Hers had been dry since the army returned because none of this was happening. Why was everyone crying? Where was Shingen? Yukimura dropped to his knees before her, his shoulders shaking as streams of tears ran down his bruised face. He looked the same since that day- less bloodstained, but otherwise the same.

 But, what was he saying? Kaede wasn’t sure.

“I’m going to the kitchen,” she finally said before she left him.

The maids seemed flustered when she stepped inside. The said something about rest or some such; she wasn’t quite sure. After a little prodding, they left her to do as she pleased. Clanging and tapping noises filled the dim room as she prepared to cook. A nice dessert would make everyone feel better. The rice flour’s grit felt comforting in her hands as she shaped several mochi, round and chewy. The troops would be hungry, so why not make mochi? She kneaded at the dough, sweat beginning to bead on her brow in the heat of May.

“Kaede,” the same voice called out, as the screen slid open.

“Yes?”

A warm hand grasped her shoulder, but she didn’t turn around. She was a busy woman, after all, and someone had to feed all those hungry soldiers. Her hand hesitated as she saw the flour bowl. Remnants of rice flour dusted the sides of it, but it was otherwise empty. It was a mere bowl and yet looking at it felt like a knife was ripping down her chest. A nervous laugh escaped her trembling lips.

“Looks like we’re about out of flour.”

The inside of her nostrils began to prickle and sting, and her eyes were suddenly not dry anymore. The hand on her shoulder squeezed a little more firmly as it brought her into a solid chest. And finally, Kaede sobbed, feeling the warmth spread and cover her face.

“He promised he wouldn’t die. He promised he wouldn’t leave me.”

Yukimura’s chin rubbed painfully at her scalp, mostly from her head being racked by her spasming frame. Large arms were wrapped around her, but they weren’t the ones she ached for. They weren’t lithe enough and they didn’t have the same smell. Her knees felt like they were made of flimsy rubber, but he held her up anyway. 

“It should have been me,” he said. His voice was even, low, somber.

“He promised me. He promised.”

“I know.” His deep voice rumbled in the hollows of his torso. “I know.”

A/N: Constructive criticism wanted and gratefully accepted.