Broken Promise

Chapter 8 (FINAL)

CHAPTER EIGHT

June dragged on with its sweltering heat. Today at least he wasthankful for the falling rain, allowing the Kai province a reprievefrom the sun. Most of all, Yukimura felt the tension in his heartdissipate at the news he had just received.

"Didthey retrieve the body?" he asked. The raindrops splattered overthe corridor, splashing into even tinier droplets.

"No,that mousy little runt set the whole temple on fire," Saizosaid. His mouth was stuffed with the dango Kaedehad cooked earlier.

"Ranmaru?"

"Yup."He swallowed, smacking his lips. "Served him like a lap doguntil the very end. Poor, crispy bastard." There was that morbidsense of humor again, so particular to the shinobi named Saizo.

Thesweetness of sake spread through his tongue as he took a sip from hisbowl. The war wasn't over, but Nobunaga's death meant independencefor the Sanada clan and safety, at least for the time being, forKatsuyori. It was still so surreal how the events played out. By now,Mitsuhide was probably on the lam, currying favor with the rest ofthe Lords and avoiding Toyotomi's wrath. Yukimura wondered how suchan intelligent man could be so impulsive and reckless, foreseeing adark future in the retainer's horizon.

Saizoleft a little while later, with the excuse that it was way too rainyfor him. He hated rainy days and often disappeared for days when itdid, so much so that Yukimura was still surprised he came out togreet him.

"Itdoesn't seem like this rain will let up, does it?" he heard hiswife ask.

Heturned to greet her, welcoming her presence like the sunrise, thenmade a place for her to sit next to him. She took a seat and leanedher head against her shoulder. There were still traces of sadness inher eyes, inconspicuous to the rest of the world, but he knew herbetter than anyone else. The anniversary of Shingen's death hadpassed by and for a reason he didn't understand, she was beginning tofeel it a month later. A small part of him, tucked away in thedeepest confined of his mind, felt hurt that she was thinking aboutanother man. Another part knew how important Shingen had been in herlife. He had been his master, after all. An even pettier part of himwondered how he compared to his late master, the man who had been herfirst husband, and not just in matters of sex. He wondered whether hewas as affectionate, as understanding, as admirable as Lord Shingenhad been.

"Areyou all right?" she asked.

Hehummed.

"We'reworried about you." There was something off about the way shespoke. It was the kind of tone she had when she was nervous or hidingsomething, the tone she had used when the clan discovered her gender.

"We?"he asked.

She waslooking at him, dark eyes wavering, chin resting on his shoulder. Hersoft hands took his, pale in contrast to his sun-kissed skin, andplaced it on her abdomen. He felt his eyes widen and his jaw lower,the blood draining from his face. Yukimura would become a fathersoon. As the initial shock wore off, he felt a wave of uncertainty,followed by one of joy, only to have the uncertainty return.

"You're..."

Kaedenodded. She looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"That's...That's great news. Right?" He was desperate to come offconfident, but his last question gave him away. Were the child to bea boy, he would be forced to fight for his clan, defend himself fromthe rivalry that would without a doubt come with his cousins,Nobuyuki's teenage sons. What about Katsuyori? Would there be issuesthere?

Gasping,shuddering breaths were coming from the woman beside him. Kaede wascrying. In his anxieties, he had forgotten to ask how she was doing.So he embraced her, attempting to soothe her, caressing her back.

"Hey,Kaede. I'm happy. I am. Aren't you?"

"Thisis just too much right now." She rubbed at her cheeks with theheel of her hand. "I don't really know how to feel."

Hedidn't say much after that. They just sat in silence for a while,watching the summer rain falling onto the pebbled ground.

"Nobunagais dead," he said.

Herblack hair rubbed against his shoulder as she nodded.

"Ioverheard you and Saizo." Kaede let out a chuckle that was moresardonic than amused. "You know, I thought Oda's death wouldmake me feel something. That it would change things. I thought Iwould feel relieved." She paused to moisten her lips. "ButI don't. Shingen is still dead. And I-... I don't feel anything."

Therewas that name again, jabbing at his insecurities. He was beginning towonder whether she saw him as a replacement. He tried to swallow backhis feelings and pressed a tender kiss on his wife's forehead.

"Andnow this... Right after the anniversary. I just don't know."

"Ido," he said. He stroked her belly over her obi belt. "Ithink I want a girl."

"Agirl?"

"Mm-hmm."He could just picture her now. "I want a daughter who looks justlike you."

"Heh."

At leasthe had gotten a smile out of her.

"I'dbe the most envied man in Kai. A beautiful goddess of a wife, abeautiful daughter. Both intelligent and wise and strong andawesome..."

"Awesome?"She was laughing now.

"Yeah!She'll have your hair and your ability to cook and headbutt people.She'll be unstoppable."

Thelaughter rose and then faded away, the tension returning. Kaede satup, removing the soothing weight from his shoulder. When he looked ather, she looked as sorrowful as she did before.

"Youknow, the last time I was pregnant..." She took a breath. Maybeshe was holding back more sobs. "Last time I was pregnant, theman I loved didn't..." And like a dam, the tears burst forward."Yuki, I don't know what I'm going to do if you leave me."

"What?"

"Ifyou die, I wouldn't be able to stand it. I just love you so muchand..."

"Kaede.No. No, don't say that."

"Ilove you so much it hurts. I don't want you to die."

Hepulled her toward himself, her face buried in the crook of his neck.

"Iwon't. I won't leave you. I promise." He kissed her hair, herfragrant neck, her cheeks, her forehead. Anything to make her feelsafe again. "I love you, Kaede. I won't leave you behind. I'llalways come back to you."

"Youpromise?"

"Iswear."

Theapples of her cheeks rose, squeezing more teardrops from between hereyes, and she let out a shaky laugh.

"Ifyou ever die, I'll kill you."

"Iknow." He smiled back at her, kissing her lips. "I won'tleave you. I'll always be with you. I promise."