Beautiful Tears: A Contemporary Fiction Short Story

Part 3

She cleared her throat dramatically again, as she did every time the story began again.

"Well, there was one guy who'd been showing interest in me. He was alright-looking, I suppose. But the main point of interest for me was his brother. He's on the football team, and I thought he was the hottest guy in school. Everyone did. So, basically, I played the first guy and got Josh to like me. The football player."

"Played?"

"Sorry. It's a word that means..." She scratched her head. "Let me think how to phrase it. It's like... you pretend to like one guy in order to get another one to like you. And you'll flirt with the first one, maybe say some seductive things, and the whole time you're just..."

"Using him?" I asked.

"Yeah. Well, I did that... to the first guy. And sure enough, it got the football player to like me. And... and I started to dress really inappropriately. I can't really explain it. Just little things here and there, meant to attract his eyes certain places. Well, that worked too. I kissed him for the first time, but it wasn't really a kiss. Kisses are supposed to be romantic the first time... We were just making out hard.

"We started making out where nobody saw us at school, and touching each other in some places. I loved to tease him whenever I got the chance.

"This went on for about three months, until Spring Break came. My family went to Florida and let me here because I was babysitting one family's kids that week. Well, the parents decided to take the kids somewhere one night. I think they went to see a movie? They said they didn't need me that night, so I made plans with Josh."

"You don't have to go on," I assured her, hearing the strain on her voice. "You can just-"

"He came over to my house. I had a key, so I let us in. In my mind, it was like being a married couple home for the first night. But we weren't married -or even dating, really- and it wasn't our home."

She leaned towards me and began to cry. Her body was shaking. With anger, regret, cold, fear... I didn't know. Probably a combination.

"I took him up to my room and gave him a lap dance. That was all I'd planned to do that night. I wanted to show him some things, but not anything more. I didn't want to have sex, yet. I was scared, so the plan was to sleep. My plan was to sleep. But I got so caught up, and he assured me it would be okay. He didn't want me to be scared.

"It hurt so fucking bad. I hated every minute of it, and yet I loved it. I can't explain it. The sensation was terrible and wonderful. I wanted to leave, but I knew I never could. No matter what happens, I would never ever go back to that. I'd never do it again.

"And then he... I... we finished. He got up to leave, said there was somewhere he needed to be. I asked him to kiss me goodbye. But instead, he leaned down and licked the side of my face. I told him I didn't want that right then, that I wanted something romantic. A kiss goodbye. He shook his head and laughed. It was like a growl. He said he wasn't a romantic guy, and if I wanted a romantic guy that I shouldn't be a slut at school." Alex's voice was shaking terribly. "I'd never do any of it again."

"Hey, it's okay." I hugged her tightly with the one arm. "You'll never have to again. Don't worry. You're not what he said you were. You're not anything like that. If you-"

"Can I finish my story?"

It was my turn to sigh. "Of course."

"Well, the whole plan really backfired on me. He spread rumors around the school that I was terrible at sex. I got made fun of for ages. He'd apparently made up this whole other version, where I was just some clueless whore. And, of course, my best friend -old best friend, I mean. She found out and refused to talk to me. I was alone. And that's when I found the blisters and it all started hurting.

"I went to the emergency room by myself and had them look... down there. I had blisters and it was hurting really badly and I skipped my period. Well, they said I had genital herpes. And then they said I was pregnant." She sniffled. "It was like a one-two punch. I got knocked out. They asked me what I wanted to do, and I ran out of the office without talking. I knew it was only a matter of time before they called my dad and told him.

"As I sat in my room, packing up my stuff to run away, I heard him storming up the stairs. I was more terrified in that moment than I'd ever been. Ever since Mom died last year, he's been a really scary person, and when he has a reason to be mad it's even worse. He definitely had a reason this time.

"Well, he yelled at me for five or six minutes without stopping. Then he took a breath, and I countered with my own screams. I told him some really terrible things... and he said some worse things back. This went on for over an hour. By the time we were finished, it was dark outside. He told me to go to sleep and that we'd talk more in the morning.

"The morning came, and with it an apology. He said he was desperately sorry and that he hadn't meant a word of it. He said that nobody was perfect, and that he should've raised me better. I really loved him in that moment, and he promised to get me the help I needed. Then he went downstairs and said I could stay in bed for the day, and he'd bring me up some ice cream and whatever else I wanted. He was so nice.

"That all changed, though. A few days later, he found out that I had herpes. Before that, he'd only known about the baby. He came up to my room again as I was eating another tub of ice cream. He walked in calmly and asked for it. I handed it to him, and he threw it at me. I gasped, and waited for him to say something.

"Starting in a low whisper, he said that he'd only known about the baby before. His plan was to have it aborted and just move on. It was supposed to be a learning experience. But then he got another call from the doctor's office asking for his credit card so they could order something for the herpes. He asked what they were talking about, and the doctor told him everything.

"He got really mad at me. More than before. Because herpes wasn't something that could go away. It would always be there, and always cost money. He didn't like that. He didn't like that at all. I yelled at him, asking where all the love went and all the care and forgiveness. Then he told me..."

She stopped walking. Up ahead, there was one house with the lights still on. It was a nice neighborhood, with each lawn neatly trimmed and the fences painted pure white. Lots of things made sense once I saw the houses. As she stared fearfully towards her home Alex finished her story.

"He told me..." She took a deep breath and finished. "He told me that he could forgive his daughter, but that he could never forgive a slutty whore. He said that I wasn't his daughter anymore. That I was a bitch."