Poetry of the Damned

I Never Asked To Be...

I planned a mass murder in a red notebook,

On the orange yellow school bus,

I don't care that the Earth is a gorgeous green,

I live in one shade of blue,

So I never knew about indigo,

And all my visions are violet.

I mean VIOLET!

Color me homicidal,

They....colored me homicidal.,

They beat me black and blue,

I bled maroon,

Golden puss seeping out of my sores stained chartreuse,

Kickball field,

I never wanted to be a rainbow,

To bend at the whim of a thunderstorm,

I'm a slave to lightning strikes in my insides,

I'm afraid of sidewalks, side streets and side glances,

They see the colors,

It doesn't matter if I am dressed in grey,

They watch my walk!

So I twitch and I try to straighten my switch,

And I keep biting my tongue but that just strengthens my lisp.

I can't hide behind bathroom stalls,

They always find me amongst black and white linoleum, and piss.

I can't forget they called me FAGGOT and FRUIT and TINKERBELL!

But I thought that bitch had wings and I never once felt like I could fly!

If I could,

I would have flown away a long time ago,

But instead, they clipped wings before they sprouted,

They clipped spines...

I can't be straight!

I mean I CAN'T stand straight.

Held down by layers of toxic pain,

I bet they didn't know.

They were coloring me in.

They were etching hit lists into my skin.

She called me a fucking queer!

ONE!

You said I was going to hell.

TWO!

Who I love is disgusting! Okay.

THREE!

You broke my nose.

FOUR!

I can't babysit your son!

FIVE!

Dad said he'd disown me.

SIX!

I will die alone!

SEVEN!

FOR EVERY COLOR OF THAT FUCKING RAINBOW I'LL PUT ONE BULLET IN MY POCKET AND SIX IN THE REVOLVER!

I'll create a thunderstorm and they'll bend to my whim,

I'll make lightning strike their insides.

Make them afraid of sidewalks,

They'll run with limps,

Like I walked with a switch and we'll switch roles.

They won't care that I liked pop music when I'm toting heavy metal,

I'll paint the pavement,

Dye their families blue,

Strip their skin violet and let them rot,

Yellow and green and I'll sit,

Behind indigo bars,

In a bright orange jumpsuit,

And they'll ask me why I did it.

And I'll say because,

I never asked to be a rainbow!

They colored me...

Homicidal.

This was spoken word by Kai Davis the poet.