If she let her wall down,
you would see someone broken, utterly hopeless.
Lost in her own mind, and clawing at her own thoughts.
Scraping the shell of her scull, and screaming...
Just trying to be heard
You would look through the eyes of that girl
And see a blur
A confused blur, one that looks like paint thrown at a blank canvas, in the anguish of mistakes
Unable to focus on one thing, because the blur is change, and its all she's used to
The rug of solidarity pulled from under her, and she hasn't been able to pick herself up
You would hear through the ears of that girl
The same things she hears everyday
And yet, through the normality of it, you would see the words that slip through the cracks
The most important statements would slide harmlessly to who knows where
And you would see the most painful words burned into her memory,
A white hot press, that would sear undifferentiated claims to her already beaten brain
You would unfold her memories
Even those she worked so hard to bury, you would see them
You would see how much she loved
You would see how much she still loves
And then you would see the heartbreak
The heartbreak that has formed a hard, black shell around her heart
You start to wonder
As you put your ear to that black exterior....
And hear nothing
You've already seen too much, much too much
She's forcing you out now, pushing you urgentally away
So you leave
And look at the girl one more time, after exiting her tangled mind
And you see me
The smile on my face
The laugh
The love
The care
But you take one look into my eyes, and the wall is there, protecting...
You finally understand now, why
I don't let my wall down
