Broken boy

Breath In-Breath Out

Chapter 2

I squinted at the bright sun shining through my window. Suddenly a panic washed over me I felt my lungs seize up I ripped off my covers and ran into the bathroom. I sat on the cold floor and tried to calm down but my breathing was rapid, I had to keep reminding myself it was just a panic attack. Tears streamed down my face and my breathing finally started to even out, I took three deep breaths and got off the floor. I looked in the mirror in amazement, I've been having panic attacks for years and years but it's been a long time since I've woken up with one, most of the time they are triggered. I decided to take a steaming shower, once I got out I put on a old ripped pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt, I combed out my hair and then went downstairs.

"Good morning" Harold said, he was sitting on the couch drinking coffee.

"Morning" I tried to reply cheerfully, I was still a tad shaken up.

"Lisa got donuts, they are on the kitchen counter" Harold didn't seem bothered by my short response and I trailed into the kitchen and grabbed a donut. Lisa then came inside through the back door.

"Oh morning dear, please help your self and I'll be ready to go in about an hour" I shook my head and smiled in response. I finished my donut and went back upstairs only to find Reese in front of my door.

"Can we talk?" He asked, I felt my face heat up and my heart fluttered.

"O-of course" I stuttered. "Please it's nothing bad I just wanna make sure you're ok, I heard you crying this morning" My embarrassment was hot on my cheeks and I had butterflies, he wanted to make sure I was ok? I looked into his deep blue eyes and saw real concern.

"Thank you, I'm fine, ... when I have panic attacks I ..." I trailed off slowly, I figured he deserved an explanation.

"Oh" He tried, I felt terrible for putting him in an uncomfortable situation. "Please don't worry, they don't happen often" I lied.

"Well if you ever need anything I'm right next door" With that Reese stiffened up and went back into his room. I felt my eyes well up with tears, I was so embarrassed, I opened my door and sat down on my bed. I started thinking about my old life, the one I missed so desperately, I'd give anything to be with my mom again. I shoved all my thoughts away and went back downstairs, hoping Lisa would be ready early so we could just leave.

"Are you ready now?" I hear Lisa call from the couch.

"Yep" I say rather flatly. Lisa grabbed her keys and we headed out to the car. The drive to the mall was rather silent but not in an awkward way. When we reached the mall Lisa ended up giving me some money and telling me where to meet her in an hour or so. I hadn't been shopping in years and didn't know what to do with myself so I wandered from this store and that getting a thing or two here and there. I gave up about half an hour in and went to the spot I was supposed to meet Lisa.

"Hey" A voice called, for a split second I thought it was Lisa but then I realized the voice was that of a male, I turned around to see a whole group of boys coming towards me.

"I don't think I've see you at school, you're definitely something I'd like to see more of though" One of the guys said, I was disgusted but so intimidated that all I could do was stare at him in shock.

"What do you say?" He questioned with a smirk.

"I-I I don't think that is a great idea" I stuttered, making a fool of myself, I always wished I could be brave, and you would think I would have learned being in all the foster homes I've been in but the thing is kids in the system can turn out two ways, wild and disobedient and knowing how to stick up for themselves, or submissive and timid, guess how I turned out.

"Shit boys we scared little stutter" He teased, I felt my cheeks grow hot and my eyes welled up, I wished so desperately that Lisa would show up.

"I-I'm not scared ok" I tried to say confidently, "I'm just not interested" I stated bluntly.

"Big talk from someone who seems so weak" His teasing was relentless and his friends just backed him up.

"Please just leave me alone" I looked down, I felt a sense of panic and I knew I was about to cry.

"Aw don't cry" He faked sympathy. "Pretty girls shouldn't cry" I scoffed at him as he turned away. "I'll see you around babe" he said as him and his posy finally left me alone. My heart was racing and I was in disbelief at the events that just took place. I saw Lisa rounding a corner and I quickly wiped away my tears and grabbed my bags.

"Got some cute clothes for school?" She asked, unaware of anything that just happened.

"Yeah, I'll show you when we get back" I responded acting as if everything was just fine.

"Sounds lovely!" Lisa smiled and we went back to the the house.

Hours had passed since we retuned, I had showed Lisa the items I purchased and she said it just wasn't enough. Although I was terrified of getting to comfortable I had to admit it felt good to have someone genuinely care, it was such a foreign feeling and yet something I could definitely get used to. I had hung up all my clothes and was getting ready for my first day at my new school tomorrow. My only wish was that the jerk from the mall today wouldn't happen to go to the same school. Finn was supposed to be taking me with him tomorrow and showing me around but something told be things might not go exactly as planned, I wished I knew what I could do so he wouldn't show me such animosity. I was thinking about asking if maybe Reese could take me but I didn't want to seem rude and I knew Lisa and Harold had to work so they were out. I laid my worries away and climbed into bed, tomorrow was going to be a big day.