*Demi's POV*
"You go without me girls,I'll see you there" I said trying not to let down my image,especially to those girls.I was finally popular and I wasn't going to ruin that. As much as I hated being who I am and myself I fianally had friends.I used to be the one who was bullied and now Im the bully,I hate it,I hate myself,I hate who I am but in a really horrible way I get a rush from it.
When I caught the sight of Beau's cuts earlier I realised I was the one who made him do that.When I was bullied before I used to cut as a way of releasing pain,I still do now because of what I've become. I was just as bad as the bullies that bullied me. I had become what I always promised myself I wouldn't.I remember I used to look at them and feel physically sick,I'd never become them and no one should change themselves because of someone else.Now look at me.All thats down the drain.
I still believe it,I still want to believe it.
Then I met these girls,they changed me and now I'm in too deep.I don't want to lose them, so I need to keep this up. I got the regular urge to cut. I needed to,seeing beaus cuts set it off.I cant control what Im becoming or the urge to cut,I'm a disgrace.
The thought made me want to cut myself,punish myself more.I ran to the nearest girls bathroom and got out my razors.I started to cut while thinking of excuses for being late to class. Sorry I'm late miss I was showing a group of little kids where to go. I thought.Perfect.
Miss loved me and kids so the story made me sound good and she'd feel sorry for the little kids wondering round and let me off easily.I finished cutting,the urge stopped and I grapped some tissue paper and cleaned up the blood from my freshly cut skin and the bathroom floor,luckily for me there was nobody in the bathroom at the time,they were all in class.
Before you ask no I dont care about beau.How can I?I never even met the poor kid till one day the girls,my girls,pushed me up to him and dared me to be a bully to him.It spiraled out of control since then.I still remember the look of confusion and terror in his eyes.
"Yo!yeah you,you little brat!What you looking so worried about im not going to bite,I just punch and Kick" I said towering over him.
"W-what do you want?I'm not scared of you" He stuttered,shaking.
"Yeah tell that to your face,look how about you take all this in and stop worrying yourself and I'll be back tommorrow to really get started on you,we're going to have some f-u-n" I exageratted the fun. I turned and walked back to the girls,hearing his heavy breathing.I'm pretty sure he was starting to have a panic attack,I just didn't stay around long enough to find out.It was just like when I started to get bullied.Tears,Panic attacks and Razors.I knew what he was thinking and going through.
I shuddered just remembering the thought of me first bullying,I was so dissapointed in myself.I felt sick to my stomach with guilt and disappointment.Like I said I dont care about Beau,I don't know him, but I know whats its like to get so low to cut and I know how being bullied breaks you and for that I feel sorry for him because I know how he feels.
*Beau's POV*
"What are you going to do to me?" I asked her worriedly.
"Oh don't worry sweetie,It wont be fast or painless,It'll be long and suffering" She simply replied.I knew her bitches of friends put her up to this.I also know it wasn't going to stop for a while,bullying never stops until they get bored.I know because I'd not long been bullied already by other people,it lasted for years until it finally got sorted.I thought this was a new start for me,no more bullying but yet again I was wrong.
"Yay" I mutter under my breathe.
"WHAT?WHAT DID YOU SAY?" She started to shout hovering over me.
"I said....yay!YAY! I really need another bully in my life" I began to say back starting off confident before cowering back as I couldn't stop what was coming out.It was like word vomit.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed waking myself up from my daydream,or day-nightmare.Actually maybe its called a day flashback,or just a flashback but it definately wasn't something I liked to remember.
"Beau?Beau whats wrong?" The teacher asked me as everyones eyes focused on me. I could feel myself burning up.I needed air.
"I need air" I said as I ran to the door and ran down the hall to the boys toilets. "Fuck...whats...wrong with....me?" I said between breathing.I was having another panic attack, just thinking over past encounters with demi scared me shitless.I know im a guy and not being big and butch makes me like a fairy,but if you were in my position you'd see my point of view.Its scares you.Only thing is,I know nothing about her,she knows nothing about me.Its like she needed somewhere or someone to get her anger out on and I was the one she first spotted.
I saw my sleeve was slightly up revealing a few marks.I hated this,I hated life.What was wrong with me?What had I ever done to deserve any of this? I tugged at my sleeve coving all of the marks.It was like 100 degrees but I still wore long sleeves.Everyone wondered why,and I wasn't going to tell them. I always wore long sleeves in summer and I always had done since I started cutting,several years ago. I sighed trying to calm my self down,focusing on my breathing. I walked out the toilets and decided to walk slowly back to class. I looked up and saw Demi putting what looked like a razor in her bag and rummaging around her school bag.Trust me I've used and seen enough razors to know one when I see one. Crap. I quickly turned and hid ,myself behind a tall,wide pillar. "Beau" she half whispered. Shit,shit,shit. Not quick enough. "Demi I haven't got time for this what do you want?" I asked her eyes different to usual,they were glazed over as if she was about to cry,trying to hold back tears and lighter than her usual dark,harsh eyes I'm forced too look into. "I just want too say" she started,then paused.she sounded,somewhat sincere. "You know what it doesn't matter" she fake smiled. Okay,that was weird.
"Aren't you going to punch me,or say something to me?"
"Not unless you want me too" she laughed.
"No thank you" I half laughed,kind of nervous.We'd never actually talked.Well not like this anyway.
"I got to get to class" she said,more harshly this time.She pushed past me and walked up the hallway. What just happened?
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Okay so I have no clue if anyone's actually reading this and I know this was started ages ago but I thought I might try to start and write this again,if anyone wants me too,but if not then I won't.So comments below please!Anywho I hope anyone reading this likes this story and this chapter!I love you,bye byes! 😘💕💕
