Dear thought bubble,
Welcome back to Freak Week, day 7-which is actually quite fitting since Lester and Banana agreed not to start the big, climactic fight scene until today. Something about creating/building up the correct atmosphere for battle, they said (bless their talent for literary devices). Anyway, as you have probably worked out, you're still just a voice in my head- narrating the day's events, which is good because today's environmental change is that there is no change!
Well, I say no change, it's just that everything weird, sweet and dog-related that has happened over the past week is assembling together. This leads me to my current situation, because my dear thought bubble, I'm currently coming to you tied to the auditorium's curtains, which are helpfully made out of strawberry laces to prevent me from floating away! And yes, I am aware of the irony that I am Lace, tied to strawberry Laces.
Jim, Crush and I predicted that today, we would see this week's weather come and go at different points throughout the day so that means, dogs, earthquakes, instruments, lighting problems no gravity and everything turning into sweets.
Banana and Lester (or Lanana as Harry jokingly calls them) have stuck themselves to the marshmallow auditorium seats whilst the "Mr. Kevin All-Stars" are on different parts of the strawberry lace curtain, Harry again, coming up with the name to make Mr. Kevin feel better.
"Now that you know who is behind Freak Week, what do you want to know? You have 3 questions" , says Lester who is now trying to sit upright in his marshmallow in an attempt to project some kind of power and hold over the 5 of us.
Before anyone can give an educated and well thought out answer, the lights go out and the floor begins to shake- distracting everyone, so Harry, being the adorable idiot he is, blurts out proudly:
"Can we have more questions?"
"How do you go about the world of online dating?"
We're down to one question. But everyone's sighs are short lived when
"DUCK!"
Mr Kevin at the top of the lace-curtain swings to the left to dodge a flying piccolo, sending Harry and Jim underneath him into a spin, which looks like a well-produced rhythmic gymnastics sequence if I'm totally honest. At least Lanana look completely perplexed by the whole thing
"Good use of verb!" shouts Jim as the floor stops shaking.
Once the swinging of the strawberry laces stopped, the lights began to turn back on, brighter and brighter whilst a strange object opened the door of the auditorium.
"DOG!" Marmie shouts
"Can we please stop shouting out random animals?!" Crush answers, he's on the same lace as me, BY CHOICE.
"That counts as the 3rd question"
We all grimace and simultaneously face palm our faces, nobody really knows how to confront Lanana since we're all stuck in/on confectionary so everyone turns their attention to the door, which we see being open by, nothing other than a dog. A DOG! Followed by many others. Many, MANY others
"It's a dog from day one of Freak Week!" cries Jim, who is now clearly suffering from severe case of vertigo
Banana, Marmie, Lester and I all give a squeal of joy when we see the dog, but that's just to be expected, isn't it?
"Y'all, I think we should call it Moose y'all"
"MOOOSE clap clap clap MOOOOSE clap clap clap"
"Harry, you don't say the claps, people do them", says Mr Kevin literally looking down on Harry
"Sorry Sir"
"Please, call me Kevin"
"Your first and last name is Kevin, Sir?"
"YES. IT. IS."
At this point, I'm really not sure what's going on, so I try to confront Lanana hoping that everything that has happened in the past minute or so will have just confused them so much that they will confess to everything, give themselves up and end Freak Week forever. I'm hoping against hope, alright! But before I get to talking, it seems that they've been taken over by the dog too. The lights begin flashing again and a generic hip/street beatbox tune starts playing.... And Lester starts rapping
You wanted to know what was causing Freak Week,
But now you know that it was me, how neat!
I know the last line was a half rhyme- I'm sorry
But we think that dog's name really should be Mollie
If you can beat us in this simple rap battle,
Then you get to name that dog and know that I'll
Tell you everything you want to know
About why, how and where Freak Week did show.
"Hey, Lace" Crush tries to whisper to me after climbing up the strawberry lace
What?"
"Can you rap?"
"A burrito maybe, but not words"
Crush laughs to himself, it's good that we have the same sense of humour
"Um, Lace?"
"Yep"
"Well, I thought that this might not be the best place to discuss this but are you-"
"Up next, Crush!"
"-excited to rap, bye" Crush lets go of the lace and assumes his position, tied to the middle of it.
The rap battle goes on for hours. HOURS. I would come up with something witty or funny to say here, dear thought bubble, but the Crush-Lester rap is keeping me on edge SO much, if Crush says "orange" we're done for. But I don't think it's just that, the floor is now covered in hundreds of dogs, instruments and sweets, so if these knots on the rope fail, we're heading for the inside of a tuba or something.
"Dear brother, Crush you let your personal life,
Get involved in my goings-on
She'll never ever be your wife!
This is just the start of Freak YEAR we've wo- aaaaaaa!"
Everyone stares at Lester who has now lost the rap battle, even the dogs go silent. I actually feel quite bad for him- it's not like he can run away, he's stuck to a marshmallow, surrounded by dogs, soaked in honey.
"Who did this?!"
Mr Kevin throws the water pistol to the floor landing quite artistically inside a cello case. The newly named Moose the dog shuts the case.
"Should've been a gym teacher" he says to himself and I throw him and air high five
"I'll let you have it, you've covered me in a dentist's nightmare so Banana, tell them everything."
"Well, since day one of Freak Week, I've always liked the idea of everyone letting the real them come out, not being scared by the thoughts of anyone else, not being held back by judgement. Yes, it comes with some minor hazards, but you can be YOU once a year for 7 days."
"But Banana, you are always you. Nobody else, you renamed yourself Banana, because of that!" I say, in an attempt to help her realize her mistake, she turns away, and I see in the corner of my eye that Crush is attempting to swim in the air, using the laces to guide him to the Freak Week machine.
As I talk to Banana, I can see that Jim is creating a lasso with the laces and trying to catch a sleeping Lester (yeah, he's asleep) to pull him away from Banana, and the machine.
"Lace, you've always been hiding who you are from people, take Crush for example, you hide and go shy, when actually Freak Week is the thing that has brought the two of you together, do you really want to destroy it?"
I look to Crush, who is nearing the machine, do I really want Freak Week to end?
